𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐃𝐨𝐥𝐥 | 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐠

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐕: 𝐏𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐮𝐭𝐬

𝐇𝐢 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬, 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 :)
𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡. 𝐄𝐱𝐨-𝐜𝐛𝐱 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬.
𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥. 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 n𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲/𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 <3
𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧~

TAEYONG'S POV

"Taeyong hyung! Come on, we haven't hang out for so long. Let's go eat with the SuperM. Come on, pleaseeeee."

"Aye, Mark I have to practice these two dances I can't get them right. You can all go for lunch. We can hang out some other time."

"Hmm. Why don't you guys go and I'll stay there to help Taeyong-ah with the parts he finds difficult. Then we will come and join you. Now go, we will call you when we are done." Taemin hyung said

I watch as all of them leave and I feel really guilty. I made Taemin hyung stay behind, he is just wasting his precious time on me.

"Taemin hyung no, it's fine really. You should eat and take a rest. I don't want to burd-"

"Taeyong. I didn't stay back here to dance with you. Nor to help you with the practice."

Oh, oh-

TAEMIN'S POV

I've been watching Taeyong for some time now. It's safe to say that he is not.
I see signs that others can't. I need to help him, he needs someone to help him from his mind.
I see all the insecurities he hides within him.
I see the pain behind his fake smiles. I hear his silent screams of help. I sense the negative thoughts. I hate the sadness he is drowning in.
I've seen all this before.

"Listen Taeyong. I'm going to talk straight to you. I know that you don't feel okay with yourself. I can see it. I know that you want to die Tae. I can't change your mind, I can't make you want to live, I can't make you unkill yourself. But I can show you that there are people that love you. Even if the voice inside your head says otherwise. I love you Taeyong, you are my little brother. I can't bear the thought of you hurting and killing slowly yourself, because Taeyong I see the cuts in your hand."

"What?"

"Do you really think that I can't see behind your obsession with the Paper cuts song? I see behind the lyrics. You need someone to acknowledge your pain, be there for you, not to judge you but to listen to you. I'm here now Taeyong-ah you can talk. I'm here now."

Here it was. The breaking point of Taeyong. The point that now there is only a way to go, and that's down. His fragile figure made of skin and bones fall in my embrace weak, tired of life, tired of pain, completely exhausted. And a whisper I thought came from the dead made me shake from terror.

"H-hyung- I- can- can't d-do this- an-anymore-"

And with this all the emotions he has been bottling up inside are being poured as buckets of tears fall from his eyes.
Him crying in my shirt while I whisper comforting words.

THIRD PERSON'S POV

In the middle of a practice room were sat the two boys. The one crying painfully hugging the other as if his life depended on it. And it did. He need it this. Being huged by someone he loved, even if it wasn't the one he loved, Taemin was his hyung, his inspiration, he admired him for who he was. Taemin was the one who Taeyong could lean on right now. Taemin was the one who was able to understand everything and at this moment, while Taeyong's cries became more and more louder echoing in the halls of the building, Taeyong found that comfort he had been craving for so long.
And for a minute he felt free. For a minute he was okay. For a minute he felt loved. For a minute he felt like he didn't deserve the way he treated himself. For a minute he felt secure.

But of course it all had to come crashing down when he felt his sleeves being rolled up. When he saw the look at Taemins face, he knew he disappointed him, but he also knew that he was too far gone to be saved by anyone. He was sure Taemim would leave him alone in his misery. Yet, Taemin just hugged him tighter.

"Don't worry Taeyong. I promise it will get better. Just don't give up. Don't you dare give up. You can do this. It will be better. You just need to wait. It may be for a day, week, year, eternity. Just promise me you won't go. Promise me that you won't give up."

"I'm afraid that I can't promise you that hyung. I think I have already gave up."

"No. Taeyong. No. You don't please I can't lose you too. Please not don't Taeyong. We all love you so much. Don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to us."

"It's okay hyung. I will be okay. We will be okay. I'm just tired hyung. But I promise you that I will try and fight for as long as I can. Please, stop crying for me. You need to calm down and we have to go eat with the others, they must know nothing about this. Hyung promise me."

"But Taey-"

"Promise me hyung. Just like I promised you."

"I will talk about this to Kai, and no one else. I promise. But believe me if you go one like this, soon everyone will get to know that something is not right."

"As long as you won't say anything about my unfortunate breakdown, everything will be fine hyung. Now, let's go you need eat."

"And you too. I don't care what you think. You are so skinny and pale. I'm sure you have not eaten anything for days, properly for months. Now let's go. Oh, I almost forgot. There will be no visit to the bathroom after the meal."

And with this Taeyong's mind stared racing trying to figure out how he would burn all the calories without being watched.