the coincidence

chapter twelve

<sunday march 14 2021 2:38 PM>

you feel the car come to a stop and you become aware of your surroundings again. jake taps your shoulder to get up and you slowly nod in response. your parents are unloading the bags from the trunk and jake goes out to help them.

i was so caught up in surprising tommy that i completely forgot about the plans that we already made.

you get out of the car and sprint to the front door, disregarding the many items that you should be helping your family bring in the house.

surely he can't be too mad, right?

you fly upstairs, go into your room and log on to minecraft as quickly as your computer lets you. when java boots up you see that only one person is on the origins smp. "nooooo. please tell me that tommy is still on," you say to yourself even though you know that you're too late. you feel the guilt weighing your shoulders down and you feel water starting to fill your eyes. "no, don't cry," you tell yourself. "you're gonna call tommy, tell him what happened and everything will be fine. it's not a big deal."

taking a few deep breaths, you pull up tommy's contact on your phone and call him.

"tommy?"

"what?" tommy responds in a bothered tone.

"tommy, i'm so sorry. something came up and i was about to tell you when-"

"forget it y/n, really. you couldn't bother to tell me before so there's no need to apologize now."

"tommy it was an accident i'm sorry. can you play now?" you can hear the desperation in your voice as tears start to pile up in your eyes. you try your hardest to push them away like water in a dam.

"whatever y/n, you made your point. you could have joined, but you didn't. what more is there for you to say?" he raises his voice and you can hear the pain he's trying to push down.

"what the hell does that mean? i just told you it was an accident tommy, something came up. i was actually going to surprise you-" you stop yourself, considering if you even want to see tommy on your trip to england. you feel bits of your sadness turn to anger and you start to feel your ears burn up. "what 'point' am i making?"

"that you don't care."

you both go silent for awhile and you try to process what he's saying. there has to be another reason why he so upset.

"tommy, what do you mean i don't care?" you ask cautiously, not wanting to cause any harsh emotions.

"never mind, i didn't mean it," he pauses and exhales deeply. "i'm sorry for yelling, it's not a big deal that you couldn't join."

"are you sure?" 

"yeah i'm sure," he pauses and clears his throat,  "i just thought that, i just thought-"

"what did you think?" you try your best to be a good listener without prying too much. if he wants to tell you something, you know he will when he's comfortable. 

after a minute of silence tommy begins, "i thought you were using me, or that you didn't care. that last night i opened up to someone for the first time in awhile and they left like they always do. i thought that-" his voice breaks, "i thought i let myself like someone who couldn't give two shits about me."

with tears falling down your face, you press the facetime button on the call. tommy answers immediately, his eyes red and cheeks flushed. you take in the way his blonde hair sits perfectly on his head, and how his usually bright blue eyes seem dim with sadness.

"tommy, i'm so sorry that people have hurt you before, but i promise you that i do care," you say with shaky breaths. tommy nods his head, too overtaken with emotion to verbally respond. "even though i've been talking to you for what, two days now?" tommy swallows hard and laughs. you continue, "i promise that i will not leave you okay? and i do give two shits about you, by the way. i give so many shits about you tommy that it terrifies me that i can feel this way about someone who i just started talking to," tommy bursts out laughing, most likely at the overuse of the word shit. "do you trust me?" you ask finally.

"yes." tommy smiles wide, his ocean eyes filled with their usual shine again.

"alright," you say and tilt your head sideways at him, admiring the fact that you're just sitting here talking to him. then it hits you, the trip. you're going to see him, and soon.

"what's the surprise?" tommy asks, as if reading your mind.

"what?" you reply flustered, scared that you were talking to yourself out loud.

"earlier you said that you were going to surprise me, so what's the surprise?" tommy asks again, raising his eyebrows in anticipation.

"now, now, mr innit. that would ruin the surprise now wouldn't it?" you answer with a huge smile on your face, tommy shaking his head disapprovingly and laughing the way that your ears have become so accustomed to.

a/n: this chapter was pretty long i hope it was ok <3