the coincidence

chapter twenty three

TRIGGER WARNING!!: mentions anxiety

<tuesday march 16 5:39 PM>

you're awoken by the beeping of a monitor to the right of you. you adjust your eyes to the fluorescent lights and become aware of the hospital bed that you're laying in. the uncomfortable baby blue blanket resting on top of you and the dressing gown that magically appeared on your body. you shoot up in the bed, causing your lightheadedness to return very quickly and you warily lay back down.

the doctor comes in and tells you what happened, how they ran a couple of quick tests to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary. they mention how your mom stopped by to see what happened and left a new change of clothes for you. the doctor expresses great concern for your mental health, and even though you know better, you dismiss this concern, knowing you hold up a tough front no matter what, even if you always end up tearing yourself down in the process. the doctor finishes by saying that all the tests have been taken care of and that you can leave whenever you feel ready.

after the doctor leaves, you spot tommy walking in the hallway past the room you're in, stopping in his tracks and spinning around when he sees you're awake. he immediately runs in and squeezes himself next to you on the bed, wrapping his arms around you and running his fingers through your hair. "you scared the shit out of me y/n, like three times!" tommy heaves a loud sigh, placing his chin on top of your head.

"what even happened? all i remember is seeing the roller coaster, puking all over the place and then waking up here," you say confused, but tommy's warm embrace keeps you calm.

"you kept passing out on me, that's what," tommy states with a hint of worry in his otherwise usually sarcastic voice.

you two sit in comfortable silence, enjoying each other's presence when after a few minutes you say, "they're usually not this bad."

"what's not usually this bad?" tommy asks cautiously, nuzzling closer to you in the already small bed that isn't made for two.

"these episodes or whatever they are. i thought i was handling my anxiety really well recently." your voice softens, you usually never open up about your mental health to anyone, not even when you're forced to by family or a therapist. "now, whenever i feel my anxiety flaring up, i wake up in a place i've never seen before with no recollection of what happened and how i got there." you take a brief pause and try to regain your cool before you continue on. "and now i'm in a hospital for god's sake." your voice cracks and your ears begin to turn red as tears well up in your eyes. "it's just- i- i'm just tired-"

"shhh, i know, i know," tommy coos in your ear as you release the tears you were trying your best to suppress.

"it's too much," you cry softly, tears staining tommy's sweatshirt.

"it's okay, i got you." tommy runs his fingers over and over through your hair, occasionally hushing your crying and rubbing his other hand up and down your back in comfort.

minutes pass laying in tommy's arms, allowing your tears to run free until they slowly come to a natural stop. you laugh quietly to yourself as you realize this is the way both nights this trip have ended so far. 

night. 

you notice the strong sun rays begin to make their final appearance for the day when you look into tommy's eyes and say seriously, "we have to go back to the beach."

"huh? why?" tommy gives you a puzzled look as he lets go of his hold on you.

"the sun is setting soon, we have to go back." you get up from the bed and begin walking around the room, possibly looking a bit like a maniac and find a pair of fresh clothes laid out on a chair that your mom left for you.

sitting upright in the bed, tommy questions concernedly, "y/n, you've been through a lot today, are you sure you want to go back to the beach? we can always do it another day-" 

"i'm sure," you cut him off as you absentmindedly start changing into your new clothes, completely ignoring the fact that tommy is still in the room with you.

"woah, okay," tommy dramatically places his hands over his eyes giggling in embarrassment, his face as red as can be.

"oh, sorry," you laugh as you pull your new hoodie over your head. "i'm done now."

tommy pulls his hands away from his face hesitantly, still half expecting you not to be fully clothed. tommy exhales as he stands up and faces you, "you ready to go to the beach then?"

"mhm," you smile as tommy grabs your hand and leads you out of the hospital.

you jog with tommy back to the beach which is thankfully only a ten minute walk away, so around a seven or six minute jog. you arrive as the blue sky turns to bright pink, slowly fading down to orange. you grab tommy's arm and slowly pull him over to the area of dry sand that's right in front of the water. tommy sits down on the sand and pulls you down with him, plopping you right on top of him, sending both of you into a fit of laughter. tommy lays down and you place your head on his chest while he wraps his arm around your waist. 

the waves crashing in front of you create a peaceful background noise as you lay there with tommy, admiring the beautiful sunset, taking in the moment that you're currently living in. you aren't really sure what happened today and you have no clue where life is going to take you, but you know one thing.

you'll hold onto this one moment forever.

"y/n!" someone calls your name.

"tubbo?" you reply, spotting him running towards you and tommy, sitting up in tommy's arms.

"heyyy, no fair-" tommy whines at your brief loss of attention from him.

"i'm so glad you're okay," tubbo smiles at you, taking a seat in the sand a foot to the left of tommy as you rest your head back on tommy's beating heart, where you wish to lay forever. 

"tubster, i'm not trying to be rude here, but you're kind of interrupting 'a moment'," tommy air quotes, teasing his friend.

"well then," tubbo grabs his phone and unlocks it. "i guess you won't be wanting this photo then?" tubbo holds up his phone and on his screen is a picture that he took. it's you and tommy just a few moments ago, laying in the sand, the breathtaking sky and the marvelous ocean sitting in front of you two. even though photos are unable to capture the feeling of a specific moment, this photo did it justice.

"oh my gosh tubbo," you put your hand over your mouth. "it's so beautiful."

tommy sits up, moving you up with him as he cups your chin in his hand and raises your jawline, his eyes swarmed with the reflection of the heavenly sky swimming in his ocean eyes. he smiles at you and tears his gaze away from you momentarily as he asks tubbo, "can you get a photo of this?" tommy presses his lips against yours setting the cage of butterflies in your stomach free, engulfing your whole body in a glowing feeling.

you see tubbo holding his phone up, smiling, as you and tommy pull away from each other smiling. "i got it," tubbo grins.

a/n: long chapter for you guys hehe. i've been loving writing these past few chapter so i hope you guys enjoy reading them as much as i did writing them :)