Carlos San Jose: Secret Society

Mental Trap

2. Getting Past the Illusion

It would seem as though letting go of emotional burdens and believing in the existence of magic was the only thing that you need to learn to be able to enter the other dimensions. But it is not that simple. To advance to the next level, she must be able to discern what is real and what is an illusion. 

Antonia Octavia asked me to put myself into a state of deep trance. A journey towards my inner mind- allowing the subconscious will to emerge.  But while the innermost mind is awake, the physical body also undergoes a kind of hibernation state- where my consciousness enters a tunnel-like crevice, my mind sees a series of wires- and a hyper state of thoughts. 

After what could be 20 minutes or so, suddenly woke to realize that I was inside a white-walled mansion with glass windows. Was I back to the present time? This feels like the modern world, or is this the future? All I know is that my mind was already transported away from the 17th century Casa Mansion where Antonia Octavia was.

As my eyes adjusted to the room where I'm in. I noticed the furnishings of the modern apartment. Instead of seeing the familiar white and satin-like wallpapers of the Casa Mansion by Antonia, what I see are grey paneled walls with huge see-through windows. Natural light was pouring inside, sort of blinding my eyes. And there lies in the middle this impressive chandelier made up of expensive crystals with jade on them. It all felt odd yet in a way satisfying to me. 

My hands began to feel the warmth and comfort of the satin sheets. It feels so warm, my being felt the ease. Eventually, feeling the need to get up, moving both my feet and sensing the solid floor. What a thrilling adventure, when the mind is able to transport itself- and not even recognize whether it is experiencing something real or not. 

The entire room where I'm in was foreign to me. I haven't been here in the past. It is unchartered territory. This place didn't even exist in my dreams- it is a completely new reality. A new dimension if you will. In the corner of the room, there was this oak round table that piqued my interest. 

Walking closer, noticing the decorations on top of it. A few angel figurines here and there and a photo frame that contains a happy family portrait. It all looked regular, not until I noticed that the woman with the brown chestnut hair looked like me. Oh wait! that is me! And this is probably my family. A husband, and two children! A boy and a girl, wearing stylish and cohesive clothing. We all looked super happy in this photo, and I began to ask myself if I had simply forgotten? Did I forget that I am married and have two children? Is Carlos San Jose and Antonia Octavia even real? Which of these realities is the truth? In this life, I was living in a perfectly clean suburban home. But why was I suddenly here? My last memory was with Antonia Octavia. It felt odd that I am suddenly married, with children that I barely even remember giving birth to!

Was I in a coma? Or is this some weird technology that I have yet to discover? I am completely sure that I went into a deep trance and that Antonia Octavia was there watching over me. But lo and behold this dimension feels intense. Real! And my mind would nearly want to believe and accept that this is my life. Happily married, with 2 children, and an immensely fruitful and rewarding career and life ahead of me. 

Or is this a mental facility? or hallucinogenic drugs are coursing through my veins? This place feels real. Perhaps because an integral part of me wants this to be real. Because even the most twisted minds would love to have the ideal home-family life. A white house with lavender walls, and lush bougainvillea flowers round the corner. A guy named John is my husband in this dimension. Sweet, brilliant in his profession, thoughtful. Good provider and highly esteemed and respected in the community. With two perfect and robust-looking children. What a pleasant and ideal feeling to have. The kind of achievement that not everyone in the world is able to achieve- not even trillionaires can have this tranquil life.