Burn to ash

Name

    All was well. Demons were quieter, attacks were less frequent. Our ranks were brimming with new recruits and there is even an increase in hashira ranging from mist to insect. We've lost many but we've also gained much.
    " Houzuki-san!" Mitsuri, our love pillar scrambled to catch up to me with a bright red blush covering her face. She's a bashful girl, sweet and very cheerful. She was trained by Kyojuro, it's too bad that she didn't become his tsukugo.
    " Would you like to go eat dango with me?" She shuffles her feet, looking up at me through her lashes. I place my hand atop her head and give her apologetic smile.
    " Maybe next time. I have to somewhere to be today. Perhaps you can find company in Shinobu or Obanai. Please invite me another time, I'll be sure to eat with you then." I promise her and she smiles nodding. She skips away with a hop in her step. I hear my name being called. I turn to face the man I was meant to meet today.
    " Are you ready?" He asks. I am going to visit father today. After so many years, I'd finally decided to at least make peace within myself. So we walk slowly, my hand in his to where it all began. Senjuro greets us at the gate, happily waving as soon as we turned the corner. I can see his physically retraining himself from running towards us. I kneel to his height and give him a strong hug. It's not as if I hadn't visited him before but he is always eager to see us. After our initial greeting, we all walk into the tea room that was just so familiar. I can remember clearly eating and laughing here. Rolling on the freshly cleaned tatami, poking holes in the shoji doors to spy on visitors, laying in mother's lap as she told us stories. From our place at the table, we could clearly see the yard, pond and all. Kyojuro and Senjuro are talking about something unfamiliar to me but I try to listen in before my attention is drawn to the tree in the yard. I remember so well that we used to climb that tree. We used to think it was such a large tree and when we climbed to the top, we thought we could capture the clouds. I even remember falling from it's branches right into father's arms, his instincts preventing me from injuring myself. I remember father held me so gingerly as I cried. I remember the warmth of his arms as he laid me down after I'd run out of tears. His rough scratchy voice trying to sing me to sleep. I remember looking up at him and thinking, father is the strongest man in the world.
    My thought are interrupted by the said man stumbling into the room, leaning as if he were on a ship. His eyes first laid on his sons and he glared but as soon as he shifted his gaze to me, he scrambled towards me. I stood and leaped over the table dodging his attempt to grab me.
    " How did you get in here demon. I killed you years ago." He's reaching for a blade that used to be at his side. He isn't seeing me but another demon.
    " Father!' It's Nee-sama!" Senjuro tried to wake him from his vision but that makes him even angrier. " Houzuki? Haha." He starts laughing and falls to the floor , clutching his head. " Father?" I whisper his name from where I stand, not intending to get any closer. Everyone stands where they are waiting for everything to unfold.
    " To think I raised you to call me father. You grew up to look just like your mother. I should have seen it coming. You are a nightmare come to life." He suddenly burst out. " I should have killed you the moment you cried. I should have killed you when I had the chance." I force the tears away. I take a deep breath. "Father. I came back to thank you. Thank you for raising me. Even if you regret it, thank you for saving me. Thank you for giving me a home. Thank you for teaching me how to wield a sword. Thank you for the warmth your arms provided me. Thank you for the love you showered me in. Thank you, for giving me a name. Father, even if you hate me now, poisoned by your sadness and regrets, even if you never apologize, I forgive you." He stares dumbfounded and I see a flash of utter sadness flood his eyes.
    " I forgive you because you, even if we don't share blood or a last name, you are my father and I love you. If mother were here, I know you would be proud of me, proud of us. If mother were here, you'd congratulate us. I know that if mother were here, you'd stare up at me not with sadness and anger but pride and sheer happiness. So even if you never apologize, I forgive you." I finish and go to leave but a hand stops me. Kyojuro smiles brightly standing as well.
    "Then, we'll be on our way Father." Kyojuro goes to grab out things but our father, yells out how much of a disgrace he is. Again yelling how he'll die. That I, would kill him.
" If what you say is true, if Houzuki is the one to kill me, to put me out of my misery, I'll die with a smile on my face. If one day, she puts her blade through my heart, I'll embrace her because surely she'll be heartbroken. If one day, she loses her sanity and takes me down, I'll kill her with my dying breath and I'll walk hand in hand into the flames hell with her. It's as simple as that father." I can't help but look at this man in disbelief. No, I can never let that happen.
" I'lll never let myself kill you." Is what I say as soon as we leave the estate. " I'll find it in myself to drive my own blade through my heart if I ever lose my mind. If your ever dying and wish for someone to put you out of your miser, I'd let you suffer and claw at life because I'd need to you keep living and if, there ever comes a day, when we've died and find ourselves at the gates of hell, I'll need you to turn around and walk to heaven. I'd need you to greet mother at the gates and tell her how much we've missed her."
His smiles disappears as I continue.
" When you die, you'll be buried in your family grave. Your name will be known for years to come, whether it your brother or another descendent in the future, someone will take on your legacy. Where as I, I will become one of the many nameless hashira that had passed. I will be remembered as a demon. I will be the first and last of my line. I will be buried in a nameless grave, with the hundreds of thousands of nameless corps members that have passed before me. So nomatter what, you must live. If I'm every to lose my mind and attack you, you must kill me and you must struggle and live on, to tell the world about me because only you will have known the me that I wanted to be. The nameless thunder Hashira." I will never be able to guarantee that I will always have my sanity. I can't guarantee that Muzan won't use me. I can't guarantee that one day, a comrade will have to slay me.
" Then marry me. It's rushed and untraditional but marry me. We can have Oyakata-sama marry us today if you want. You'll become a Rengoku, you'll become Rengoku Houzuki, my loving, beautiful wife and a strong, powerful Thunder Hashira. You will be remembered by everyone as the first Rengoku to wield a breath other than flame. You'll be remembered as Rengoku Houzuki, and when we die, we'll be buried together and people will tell our story to their children." I can't help the tears that flow down my face. I cover them with my hands.
" That's not what I mean. I don't want you to die because of me Kyojuro. I never want you to die because of me." He wraps his warm, large arms around me.
" and I'm saying, marry me. I would never die for or because of you because I will always save you and walk back home alive with you and I trust you, to always be beside me. So, marry me, become my wife. Take on my name and wear it with pride. Walk beside me, protect me when I can not protect myself. Stay beside me when no one else is strong enough to follow. Struggle with me to save the weak. Be my anchor, my light, my wife, my beautiful, powerful, kind, forgiving, loving wife Houzuki. Before everything changes and we run out of time. Become my wife."
As soon as I nod my tearful face into his chest. he's pulled away with a wide grin, one I haven't seen since we were all but young children.
" Let's go!" He grasps my hand in his and tarts running.
I became Rengoku Houzuki that day.

*dango: its small round chewy rice cakes skewered in threes. Some are colored white green and pink while others flavored in sweet soy sauce, black sesame, or red bean paste, Now you can buy them in lot of different flavors like chocolate and strawberry.