Burn to ash

The sound of thunder

We all sat at the low table eating, listening to one another talk. His wives, mostly talked and Tengen mostly laughed. I watch and join when they drag me into the conversations. I can hear the soft sound of rain against our ceiling adding to the pleasant atmosphere of the room.

" Tomorrow, I'm leaving to get more recruits from our next mission. You all know what to do.  We;ve already infiltrated the houses, its only a matter of time until we learn who the demon is. So you three keep at it and dig in while I'm away and Hou, if you would so kindly piss the demon off, we might get a few new clues as to who it is. Go cheat on your master some more and take her clients. ' He smirks and I can only laugh at the things this man asks me to do.
" Oh how Sai-Samoa will weep when he find out." I fan myself with my hand and the other laugh at my acting. Makio begins to clear the table while the rest of us discuss more on the matter.
They begin readying themselves sto leave once again.

" It's about time I get going. If I'm away too long, they'll realize I'm missing." Hinatsuru signs clearly upset about having to leave us.
" Stop whining we ll have a job to do and none of us want to leave but we have too." Suma scolds and I can only laugh at the familiar exchange between the three.
" Be safe. I'll see you all soon." Tengen pats each of them on the head and they smiles so brightly at his show of affection. I'm a matter or moments, they are gone as if never here.

" It always amazes me what the four of you can do." I stand to head towards my room. He leans back against the wall beginning to remove his jewelry. I think to help him but I feel a pan in my chest that stops me.

"Do they usually help you?" I don't know why I ask to hurt myself again.
" I don't let them because They'll argue and fight over ever piece of clothing on me. " He states acting oblivious to my questioning.

" I see. I guess that normal, my mother use to do it for father and I sued to do it for Kyojuro, so I don't know why I even asked. I guess it's normal." I brush it off and begin leaving the room.
" I'll be gone when you wake up so stay safe Hou. We'll all be back before you know it." He reassures me and I give him my best smile.
" I know."

And that night I dreamed. I've dreamed of him before Kyojuro. I dreamed of him leaving many times but this dream is different. He stares at me with s much love in his eyes that I start to believe that hes' real. His touch is so warm that I've already forgotten the cold. He says my name so clearly but I can't help but reach for him but I can't. I can't reach him. He stands there so close yet I can't reach him. He grins at me as I try as if he's enjoying my struggle and no matter how many times I cry out, he doesn't move towards me he deosn't try to help me.

And so I cry. It hurts, that even in my dreams I can not be with him. I've managed somehow to get by, to forget about him enough to live without crying. I've managed to forget toe pain and instead remember fondly of him yet here I am dreaming of him and not able to reach him., as if he's taunting me in death.

" Houzuki." He still waves at me

" Houzuki." He motions for me to go.

" Houzuki, get up!" Is what I hear and I feel the tears running down my face.
" He won't leave me.. I just want to forget, just for a little bit. I just want to feel ok just or a while but even in my dreams, he's there.." I hug myself and the sound pillar simply stares at me. I sob like a child, an ugly kind of cry and he holds my shoulder while do so.

" Just for tonight." He says and pulls me against himself. " Just for tonight I'll help you forget I'll tell you how." He wraps his arms around me tightly and pulling the blanket around us as well.

" You need to find something stronger to replace it. For me, it was the urge to protect them, Suma, Makio and Hina. So one day, you might find something too."

I look up at the man before me and a look of determination shows on face before he hugs me tighter, burying his face in the crook my neck.

" I'll do what other's couldn't do and  make you forget him for a little while but I won't do it unless you ask me too."  He pulls away and stares at me waiting for an answer.

" Help me forget."

I can only hope the sound of thunder hid my plea from the heavens.