Burn to ash

delicate light

I woke first when the soft sunlight streamed into our window. *Otento-sama had just risen over the land and had made it's self known by casting a soft into temporary home. Kyojuro shifted beside me, his hold on me tightening as his eye flutter open. 

" *Anata, morning has come." He stirs and I get a glimpse of his brilliant eyes. Slowly he sits up and stretches his arms over head before falling back against the soft, welcoming bed. Just as I was about to say something, a soft knock sounds from the door. 

" Please excuse this one, I am here to inform you that breakfast is to be serves very soon." Not a moment later we hear the shuffling of feet getting farther and father from our door signaling that the attendant has left. 

" We should get ready then. Wouldn't want to be late for breakfast. " He kisses my forehead once before lifting himself up and out from under the blankets. He stands feeling no shame for his bare form, giving me a grin when he notice that I too stand but cover myself well with the discarded sleepwear. 

" You look even more beautiful when standing is such delicate light." He slips on his undergarments and stands with his kimono draped over his shoulders.  I start to rush putting my clothes on so that I can get to helping him into his own but he only laughs. 

" Take your time Houzuki. I'm simply appreciating your elegance in doing the most mundane of things. I could watch you all day." He proceeds to lean against the wall to continue to watch me. 

" Kyojuro, there's nothing special about me. you have seen people much more beautiful and much more mesmerizing. Now, please let me help you dress before you catch a cold..." I pull his kimono closed and begin tying his obi and he just laughs. 

" but to me, you are the most beautiful and most mesmerizing. Beautiful not just in way of outward appearance but beautiful in a way that pulls at my soul. Perhaps, that is proof that you, are my soulmate?" He speaks more to himself than me but silently, I can't help but to agree. 

Perhaps, fate, destiny, *Izanami, whom ever began this wretched world, had created us, Kyojuro and I, for each other? It's a pleasant thought to have. 

He offers me his hand along with one of his many smiles. 

" shall we head to breakfast?" I nod and he grasp my hand in his. I feel his warmth. 

" Not to begin the day with a difficult conversation but I would like to talk to you about something over breakfast, as I've mentioned last night." He says this so casually that that I can't help but remain relaxed. I stay silent and he continues even as we sit down at the table. 

" In mother's things, I had found a letter addressed to someone in this village. The contents of this letter were of you and your past. It simple informed the receiver that you are alive, and well cared for.   It was written years ago when we were still infants but it seemed that she never sent it. I can't begin to understand why she wrote such letter or why she never sent it but, I thought maybe you had the right to know." He pauses looking across the table as the attendants announce themselves and begin to set the table before us. As soon as they leave he begins again. 

" What I had been doing last night, was finding the man that the letter was addressed to. I didn't speak to him, nor does he know who we are. If you don't want to know the contents of the letter, I stop the conversation here, but it there's even an inkling of curiosity about your birth parents, I'll tell you everything that I know." He offers me his hands once again and warms my suddenly cold fingers. All is quiet and all that can be heard is teh quiet town beginning to wake. 

" Nomatter who, my parents are, who they were, mother will always be the woman who raised me. father will always be the man who found me, and you, you will always be the one who loves me. You are  my family but, I can understand perhaps why mother wrote such a letter." I start to remember the story father used to tell us about the beautiful woman he met here in this city, as well as the story he told us of a demon he slayed out of mercy. 

When we were children, he told these stories separately to not confuse us, to not scare me but as we grew older, I understood that the beautiful woman and the pitiful woman, were the same person, my birth mother. 

" The woman who carried me in her womb, she loved her husband enough to beg for death. She loved me enough to beg a demon slayer to spare me. I think it's safe to assume that he, her husband loved her dearly. If I were in his shoes, not knowing if my husband is alive or dead, not knowing if my unborn child is alive or dead, I'd want to know. I'd want a peace of mind even if it meant that I'd never be able to see them again." I take a look around the room and smile. 

A beautiful kimono is hung on the wall as a decoration. 

" Especially, if he loved her enough to name his business, this inn after her. " 

A beautiful Kimono is hung on the wall, a beautiful white with autumn colors in the form of maple leaves and flowers decorating the delicate fabric. Very similar to the Kimono that once hung in my room as well. 

"Chiyo" i remember once long ago, in a distant memory, mother told me about her, Chiyo. The most beautiful Orian of the Red light district, an orian who fell in love with an inn keeper and ran away from her home to be with him. I now know that all the stories, my mother and father told me, were of the same person, a subtle way to tell me of my past, to keep my past apart of my life. to honor my birth parents. 

" I wonder if they'd like the person I've become." I wonder out loud. 

" I grew up loves, I never needed much. I was raised well. They named me Houzuki. To be kind, loving, and forgiving. I was raised to me strong. I grew up well, I'd really like to believe so. In my own way, I have honored my birth mother Chiyo and thanked her for the life she has given me. I wear her Houzuki Kimono everywhere I go. I have many friends and a handsome husband. I hope that they know, that I am doing well, that I plan to grow old with my loved ones and live the rest of my life happily." 

Neither of us say anything else and all is silent. 

and in the delicate light of the morning, casted on the thin shoji doors, there's a shadow of man, sobbing quietly to himself. 

*otento-sama: otento is like the god of the sun, or more of just people personifying the sun itself. The sun itself was and is regarded as a god.

*anata: is a term of endearment towards a spouse, usually the husband. kind of like calling him. dear or love.

*Izanami: the goddess of creation and death. Her and her twin/ husband Izanagi were thought to have created the earth.