To outshine the darkness

Chapter 17

Leonora Vermillion P.O.V.

I put the picked herbs in the pouch on my hip before I continue to walk. I lean my hand on a tree trunk to catch my breath. Fucking pregnancy. Just when I start walking again I see Yami standing with his back toward me and his hands in his pockets. Silently I walk over, but I'm sure he noticed I was there long ago. I step onto the rock behind him and glide my hands over his biceps before wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders, softly pressing my face against his neck. I close my eyes as I smell his manly, woody, slightly sweaty with a hint of tobacco scent. "Hey baby" he says softly, placing his hand on my arm. "What are you doin here all by yourself?" He asks. "I miss you so much" I whisper. "Just a little while longer babe." He says. "You still haven't answered my question" he says. "I needed herbs. My nausea is really bad in the morning" I say. "Why did you come alone?" He asks. "Because I don't want the royals around me all the time" I say. "Why didn't you call me, I would've come with you" Yami says. "I'm pregnant Yami, not Disabled" I say. "True, but your pregnancy does make you vulnerable and this forrest is dangerous" Yami says. "I don't need an escort for everything Yami" I say pressing my lips against his shoulder. Yami sighs deeply. "Never mind. Just, ask me to come next time alright? Or let me pick them and we'll have a drink at the base" Yami says. I nod without responding. "Braids still treating you good?" Yami asks softly. "Mmhmm. I think he truly loves me" I mumble. "I almost feel guilty that I don't love him in the same way" I whisper. "It's hard not to love you." Yami says. I smile slightly. "What about your family, any different now that Fuegoleon is back?" He asks. "My father is suddenly very nice. It makes me a bit uneasy" I say. "Isn't it good that your Oyaji is finally treating you well?" Yami asks. "He never treated me well, so it's just weird. It's probably just temporary until the baby is born" I say. "The good thing about these kinds of parents is that at least you know what not to do" Yami says softly. "Yeah" I mumble, leaning my head against his with my eyes closed.

I walk through the halls of my parents estate with my brother beside me, our Crimson Lion robes flapping behind us. I glance up to him, but he seems to be in deep thought. Suddenly he stops walking, so I do to, looking at him surprised. But then I follow his gaze and look at the painted picture of us with Mereoleona and Leopold. "I can't believe I never realized back then. You always looked pale, sickly, but I always thought it was because your mana wasn't that great yet. I never thought it was because of chichiue and what he did to you" Fuegoleon says. "I look quite healthy here" I scoff. "I'm serious Leonora" Fuegoleon says. "What do you want me to say, Niisama? You're barely two years older than me. Why and how would you notice?" I ask. "You tried. At least you tried. You talked to me, spend time with me whenever you could. So stop with that self pity. I'm not wallowing in it either." Fuegoleon looks at me. "What a strong woman you've become" he says. I frown slightly. "You're scaring me" I say. Fuegoleon smiles. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to" he says, stroking my fiery red hair behind my ear. "I was just thinking about the mistakes of my past" he says. "Then learn from it and do better" I say. "I will" he promises. "We're going to be late" I say before walking along and Fuegoleon follows me. He knocks on the door and walks in. "You're late" father says. "That's my fault, I had to make a stop at the bathroom" I say. Father looks up and smiles. "That's alright, please sit down" he says, pointing at the chairs in front of his desk. Fuegoleon and I look at each other surprised before sitting down. "I need you to keep an eye on your sister" Father says to Fuegoleon as he hands me a piece of strawberry cake, which I gladly take. "More than I already do?" Fuegoleon asks as he raises his eyebrows slightly. "You have no idea how important this baby  is" Father says impatiently. "I hope that is because it's the child of your daughter?" Fuegoleon asks sharply and I can feel the intensity coming from him. I smile slightly. "Of course, of course" father says quickly. "But it's also going to be the first child with both Silva an Vermillion lineage that's been born in years!" Father says, angering Fuegoleon.

Sobbing I cling to Nozel, and he hold me patiently as he softly rubs my back. I turn my head into his neck, and smell his clean, woody, herbal smell. "I'm sorry" I sniffle though I still hold him tightly. "It's quite alright" Nozel says softly, as he still holds me and his hand still rubs my back. "These hormones really suck" I sniffle, groaning slightly. "I can imagine" Nozel says, softly pressing a kiss on my cheek. I close my eyes as I lean my head against is shoulder and for a while I just sit there in his arm, breathing in his smell. "Can I ask you something?" I ask, opening my eyes after a long while. "Hmm?" Nozel asks. "If the child is born, would you rather have it call you Toosan-chan-sama or chichiue?" I ask. "Hmm I don't know. That depends I think" he says. "On what?" I ask. "His age. And what he wants. I don't mind if he calls me Toosan or Otosama when he's still a child. But I think it's good when he's older, and he calls me chichiue as is normal in a royal family. It's still a form of respect I think" Nozel says. "What about you?" He asks. I finally lift my head from his shoulder and sit up, wiping my eyes and cheeks. "I'd rather be called Okaasan or Kaasan. I don't want my child to feel the distance I felt with my parents. Expecting it to call me Hahaue creates that distance. " I say. Nozel strokes my hair behind my ear and smiles slightly but doesn't respond. He wouldn't understand or wouldn't I agree I guess. "Feeling any better?" He asks. I shake my head. "Is there anything I can do?" Nozel asks. "Can you be pregnant instead of me?" I ask. "I'm sorry, I can't unfortunately" Nozel smiles slightly. I pout, causing Nozel to press a kiss on my lower lip. "Aren't you proud to bring this baby into the world?" Nozel asks. "Our world has quite some flaws. So I'm not sure" I say. Causing Nozel to raise his eyebrows. "But I'm proud that I am becoming it's mommy, I'm excited to shower him with love" I say, placing my hand on my stomach. "As soon as it stops making me feel sick or sad" I say. Nozel smiles placing his hand on my stomach as well. "You have to be kind to mommy" he whispers.