I can't believe what I'm doing. I'm lying to my own girlfriend. I tell her I'm okay, but really, I feel broken inside. It's almost natural for me.
"Harry?" AJ calls.
"Hey, wanna go do something?" I ask.
"Oh Harry! You really are cured! You actually want to go out again! Aww, I'm so proud of you!" She tells me, kissing me all over.
"Aw, it's not that big a deal."
"Yes it is! You don't feel broken anymore; that's a major accomplishment for you!"
She's so excited, it seems like she really loves me.
I'm so scared that she'll see the real me, the true Harry. The Harry who secretly cuts himself when his girlfriend isn't home. The Harry who doesn't want to live anymore.
"Haz? So where do you wanna go?" She asks.
"I don't care, just somewhere fun," where I can die, I add silently.
"Hmmm, let's see." She takes out her phone and starts typing.
"Ooh! Harry, maybe we could go to the amusement park! We could ride rollercoasters!" She sounds almost as excited as she did when I told her that my depression was cured.
"Okay...." I had a deathly fear of rollercoasters killing me when I was little, but now I want to die. It's weird how I used to have a fear of dying; now it's all I think about.
It's strange how someone can look so normal and happy on the outside, yet feel so broken on the inside. We get into the car and start driving to Six Flags. I haven't been out in a while. Not for a few years, actually. I only went out that one time with AJ and One Direction. We go on a few rides, but then I feel like everyone is watching me.
"Harry," AJ says, "what's wrong?"
"Everyone's watching me, I don't know. It's all in my head." No it's not.
"Okay, at least you're okay. I love you, Harry!"
"Love you too." I say. I really just feel like killing myself, but of course if I said that to AJ, she would freak out and probably send me somewhere to get me treated for that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Well, a few of my really long chapters will be a mixture of Harry and AJ's POVs. The next chapter will be an example of that, and of course it will be pretty sad. You'll find out what happens. Love you all!💕
YOU ARE READING
Suicidal
FanfictionI'm just going to write part of the story because I'm terrible at descriptions. "See, Harry," I say, showing him a beautiful picture of the city, "these are reasons to live." "Looks like a perfect place to die to me," Harry says. "Harry, just liste...
