Suicidal

Chapter 17

(Harry's POV)
I get onto my laptop late at night, after AJ falls alseep. She doesn't suspect a thing. I log onto Twitter just to see horrible things everyone says about me. I'm in the bathroom, so it isn't like AJ will notice me. I start sobbing extremely loud and I just grab my razor and start cutting it deeper and deeper into my skin with each stroke. I think, Yes, that feels so terribly amazing! If AJ found me like this, I don't know what I'd do. She thinks I'm fine. She thinks my depression is cured, she thinks I don't have suicidal thoughts anymore. But it's all lies. I'm having some regrets about what I'm going to do, but not for long. I see one message that makes me just want to end it all.
"Harry, why do you even try anymore? No one wants you here, no one needs you. No one wants to see you, you're so fat and ugly. Not to mention that your girlfriend hates you and wants you to kill yourself, you fat whore. No one wants you! Please just kill yourself, the world will be 1,000,000 times better without you in it. So just go die, go cut yourself! No one loves you, get over it and just die already!" As soon as I see that message, I take 4 bottles of pills and just swallow as many that will go down. I don't even bother to read the labels on any of them. I suddenly hear footsteps.
"Harry? Oh no, Harry? HARRY PLEASE OPEN UP! I need to know if you're okay." AJ says.
"N-no...... T-too late......" I whisper.
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(AJ's POV)
Why is Harry in the bathroom with the door locked? I know he isn't actually using the bathroom, I hear him crying.
"H-Harry..... What are you doing in there?" I ask him.
No answer.
"Harry, PLEASE!" I sob. I grab the phone and dial 911.
"Don't worry, Harry. I'll save you......" I whisper-sob. The faint siren of the ambulance grows to a much louder noise. The paramedics run upstairs.
"H-he's in the bathroom, I-I don't know what happened, I just-" I broke off and started crying harder than before.
"Just save him, please." I sob.
"We'll try our best to fix him up." One of them say. They finally unlock the door and just close it behind them so I don't see what's going on. I dial Anne's number.
"Hello love. Oh, what's the matter?" She asks.
"H-Harry...... T-tried to...... K-kill himself....." I sob into the phone.
"Is he okay?!" She demands.
"I-I don't know..... He's done this before..... Many times."
"Well, I'll be right there to see him. Do you know which hospital he's going to?" Anne is sobbing by now as well.
"N-not yet, I-I think the one right down the street-what's the name?"
"I know the one you mean, I'll be right over." They bring Harry out of the bathroom.
"Would you like to stay with him?" Someone asks.
"Y-yes......" I say.
"Okay, come on. We can save him. But first, you might want to see this."
We walk back into the bathroom and I see Harry's laptop on the counter, surrounded by empty bottles of pills. The message on the screen says, "Harry, why do you even try anymore? No one wants you here, no one needs you. No one wants to see you, you're so fat and ugly. Not to mention that your girlfriend hates you and wants you to kill yourself, you fat whore. No one wants you! Please just kill yourself, the world will be 1,000,000 times better without you in it. So just go die, go cut yourself! No one loves you, get over it and just die already!"
"Why would someone say this to my little cupcake? I love him so much, why do people say I hate him?"
"People are messed up in this world." Someone else says.
We climb into the ambulance as they load in Harry on a stretcher.
"Harry, if you can hear me right now, I just want you to know that I love you. Please stay alive, for me. I didn't know it was this bad for you; I thought you were cured. You could have told me the truth, I want to help you." I whisper to him.
As soon as we get to the hospital, Anne is waiting right outside the door. She sees Harry and bursts into tears.
"I thought his depression was cured. He seemed perfectly fine when he came to visit me last month." Anne says in a worried tone.
"He fooled us all." I grab Harry's arm and I see cuts all over.
"Oh, Harry...." I sob.
We get into a room, and I stay with Harry for the whole night, stroking his hair, kissing him all over. I hope when-or if-he wakes up, he won't try to do this again. I'll make sure he won't, just by watching his every move.
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(Harry's POV)
I'm so stupid for letting her find me like that. Why couldn't I just have died then and there? Why couldn't I just have been quiet? Why does AJ always have to save me? She knows how fat and ugly I am. She knows I hate myself as much as everyone else in this world hates me. So why does she always try to save me and make me love myself again? She should have just took this as a hint I wasn't okay. But I guess she really believed me. I feel something hard in my throat that makes me want to gag. I try to open up my eyes, but the bright lights are irritating me.
"Harry? If you can hear me, please say something." I hear my mum's voice.
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
"Don't rush him; the pills are probably still affecting his system." One of these doctors says. Oh, so I'm in a hospital? Why couldn't you just have left me on the bathroom floor!? I try to speak once again, and this time it works.
"AJ, mum...... I'm sorry for all I did.... Please forgive me....."
"Harry, it's fine. I-we-love you. We just were upset that you tried to kill yourself, you could have told us the truth. You could have told us you still felt this way, why didn't you want help?" AJ says.
"I just want to die. I don't know... I just saw that message on Twitter and..... I don't know. Can I please kill myself?"
"NO! I'm not going to let you hurt yourself any more, Harry. I love you too much to let you do that."
I really don't want them to know how much I want to die, but all the words are spilling out of me.
"I'm sorry-it's just-the pills-I...." I start crying.
"Aw, it's-it'll be okay, Harry. I know, I know..... You want to die..... Just please stay here.... For me, and your mum....." AJ says.
"I-I'll try, okay? I just don't know." I say.
"We'll get thorough this together."
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A/N: Well, Harry is going to be recovering through the next few chapters. But little do we know what's going on inside his head (duh, we know a lot because it'll be in his POV!) AJ doesn't know what's going on with Harry, so she has to monitor him nonstop.