Love mechanics FF 2 (Love Again)

Can't Be Happy

3rd person POV

"What are you doing?" Mark diverted his gaze from the plastic bag that was placed on the table in front of him to look at the person who had put it there.

"Buying you lunch" 

"That's exactly what I am asking, why are you doing stupid things?"

"Buying lunch is stupid?"

"What do you want?"

"Eat with you…" the boy sighs, staring at the senior in disbelief. He never knew accepting a ride from the elder could end up like this. That time he felt like all his words had betrayed him and left him with nothing, with no will to protest. "And since you won't accept my invitation I just bought your lunch here."

"This is my classroom."

"I know…" Vee replied with a smile before speaking again "that's why I am leaving." Saying that he turned around and left.

'Leaving? after bothering me over eating together he just left?' Mark thought to himself, not really knowing why it bothered him too much.

"Aren't you eating this?" asked Kamphan, making his dazed friend look at him to find  him with the open food container and ready to stuff his face.

"You eat it." 

'This is stupid, why am I leaning back to him? Why am I giving him a way to walk back in? and what's more stupid is the thought of why I shouldn't be doing that? why can't I do it? if leaning back to him and loving him is what I want then why shouldn't I be doing that?' Questions flooded Mark's brain, to him this was wrong and the idea of acceptance was enough to frustrate him.

"Where are you going?" asked fuse as the other stood up and walked towards the door, not knowing himself as to where he had to go? Did he have a destination in mind? No But were his feet going to follow the senior? probably yes, he is an idiot after all.

"None of your business" Mark replied, grabbing the food on the table before his friends could devour it and walk out the classroom door.

The young boy walked towards the cafeteria and stomped towards a certain table where the seniors were eating a peaceful meal, threw the box in his hand which led the food to spread all over the table.

He was angry, not at anyone else but himself for holding on to anger that shouldn't have been there. An anger that didn't make sense but was it really just anger that he held on to? Mark had tried to ignore and overlook all the pain and be carefree because the boy was afraid that the realization of that pain would kill him but things weren't going his way, they never did.

"What are you doing?" asked Vee after realizing what had just happened.

"Yes Mark what was that?" spoke Yiwaa this time.

"Can you stop this?" Mark asked while keeping his eyes on Vee who held a confused face, ignoring all the stares at him. "Can you just stop messing with me?" The boy's face turned from an anger to panic as if his voice was fading with every word that left his lips but he needed it to stay cause he had so many words still left in there, ready to be spilled out but his composure was lost as his eyes stared at the senior so he held onto the table for stability.

"Mark, are you alright?" asked a senior but he didn't know which one as he was busy trying to stay calm. Mark knew he still wasn't over these little anxiety attacks that came randomly, especially when it involved the senior but he had controlled it well until now and he didn't want to run away again, he wanted an end for these feelings. He wanted the pain to end with it but now he realized that fleeing from his feeling was more painful and that made him more furious so he spoke even through his panic.

"I don't want your gift"

"I don't want your rides"

"I don't want these meaningless things"

"I wanted trust. I want the ease of being able to trust you, trust that I won't be hurt anymore." That didn't come out as a whisper, it was loud and clear and no one at the table cared about the gazes they got from bystanders as everyone was aware of how sensitive the situation really was but everyone felt helpless as they wanted to comfort the junior who held tears in his eyes but still couldn't move a muscles.

"Mark…" Vee called but nothing else came out as he watched the junior blink to hide his tears while whipping the few that left his eyes with his hand. Then he walked away, leaving everyone to register the situation in their minds.

"Follow him," said Bar, bringing Vee out of his trance to run after the boy who was walking back to his classroom.

"Mark, wait!" That made the boy halt in his way in the middle of the hallway and that was not his first time freezing to the ground. That is the problem, these things register as command in Mark's brain. Most people can just walk away if they don't want to be in these situation but he can't do that as his mind would make multiple consequences of his actions and that's why he can't accept that it's his feelings that want him to lean back to the senior to him it's just his defaulted mind.

"Listen…" Vee started as he approached the younger and stood in front of him. "Can you explain what you said?" he asked, finally catching his breath. "What should I do to gain that trust? just tell me and I would do anything"

"You can't do anything P', I just can't trust you" Tears once again filled his eyes as he spoke. "I can't even trust my own feelings to be real anymore so how can I trust you."

"Can you not trust me just once more?" The question came out as hurtful as it sounds since the senior had long started crying after realizing that they might never be able to stay together.

"I can't…" Said Mark before composing himself to speak again "you don't realize what you have done, do you?" He spoke in a shaky voice before looking at the older. "P'Vee you made me lose control over everything I have and now I can't even decide if I should say something to someone or not cause I am afraid of how they will react."

The boy lost it with those words, his body gave out and Mark had to sit down on the floor, crying and Vee followed wanting to comfort the junior but stayed still, knowing that it would be wrong.

"P' I am already messed up and I don't need these feelings to mess with me anymore. I want to stop feeling again, feelings hurt and they won't let me live." Mark spoke after he had controlled his tears.

"So can you please stay away from me, at least until I know my head is not as messed up as now."

I know it's a bit late and I want this story to end too but can't help being busy. I am really trying to end this now so please give me a feedbackbon the chapter