Little Girl Blue - 𝐖𝐋𝐖

𝐈. Ludus- Five

I started in the kitchen, with the cleaning and the frolicking. Wiping down counters, mopping. Even if something had already been cleaned I'd go over it a second and if I felt necessary, a third time.

When I was done my hands were raw and the home smelled of bleach and a Hawaiian Beach candle found beneath the sink. It was all I could do being that the house was void of any movement or unwanted conversation. And for some reason that was beginning to drive me crazy.

For a moment I thought about going to check on her. It was almost lunchtime and she hadn't come down or made any noise, but there had to be a reason she didn't come down, so I left it alone.

I left a note for Jane on the kitchen counter and swung my backpack over my shoulder. On the way out I made sure to leave the door unlocked.

Outside the sun was oppressive, no clouds in sight to block its rays. Summers in Walbank consisted of days with no names and the occasional rain, always hot and sticky outside with a subtle smell of wet earth after dark.

Beads of sweat lined the edges of my forehead. The jeans Jane had given me were sagging around my waist, I stopped to roll up the top and catch a breath I hadn't known I needed.

After more walking and stopping to breathe, I reached the tiny convenient store. Ditching the stick I had used to carry my weight, and walked inside. I exhaled at the air conditioned store and ran to the hot dog stand where there were a few napkins to wipe off the dampness glossed over my skin. Using my hand as a fan and started up the aisles.

Piling everything in my hands I tracked down the back over the store where there was a small collection of shirts and hoodies with Walbank and that same fountain from yesterday,  printed on the front. It was a small town, not many visitors except those who came through on family road trips (and that was if you were coming from up North and were hoping to get into California). We had no attractions or significant town history. Just that fountain outside of the bakery that had been here since forever and the large clock tower the mayor instructed to be built the year after I was born. This town was gray and drab but the people here thought it was the Emerald city. They loved Walbank like it was their birthright to only do so. To them, this place was sacred ground. I couldn't disagree more.

The shirts were cheap so I grabbed one, turning around to the candy aisle behind me and browsing the large selection, smelling all the sugar and fruity flavoring.

There were a few suckers. They were the ones Fatimah and I used to fight over when we were younger, the ones with stale gum in the middle but so big they filled your cheeks. Fatimah mainly won them, usually because her teachers had given a good report for the week and she was a star student. I only received one once. Fatimah was sick that week and our mom didn't think she needed sweets when she was hurling into a trash bag.

I grabbed two for the hell of it; one for me and one for Jane.

"That'll be $22.46." His voice was gruff and he had a large beard that had a few crumbs from his leftover lunch.

I walked back to Jane's with the bag in hand. Every now and then I'd have to switch arms because it kept hitting my shins and making them sore. Eventually the going back and fourth got restricting and I decided to just sling it over my shoulder. I had $40 left. That couldn't get me anywhere.

By then the air was warm but a nice breeze came over me and left goosebumps trailing down my arm. I picked up my pace, not wanting to get caught in the afternoon rain and make it back to Jane's house soon.

On the door step I could hear her voice. Behind the door she was shouting, and her little shadow behind the frosted glass was moving frantically from the floor to the wall to the couch.

"She just left, Nicky!" I rounded the corner, remaining quiet until she noticed me. Hanging up the phone quickly, her arms sprouted around my shoulders. She was warm and smelled clean, but shaking.

I hadn't noticed a panic began to rise in myself until I percipocated the hug with limp arms. I allowed my head, for a moment, to relax on her shoulder. She pushed me back, her face had turned into a frown and her eyebrows had knitted themselves together.

"Where did you go?" Jane's voice turned cold. She was upset.

I rocked on me feet and held out my hand with the bag dangling from my wrist, "Just to pick up a few—"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her arms were folded.

It seems she had forgotten she was locked away for most of the day. "I left you a note."

"Next time you tell me where you're going and I'll take you."

I nodded. "Understood."

"You don't need to be leaving alone, it's not safe."

"Alright." I placed my bag back down and began to unpack. "I'm going to go shower."

Having moved to one of the chairs with her arms in between her legs, elbows separating her knees. Jane was concentrated, the bottom of her lip tucked between her teeth.

I walked the stairs and to the bathroom. Jane's room looked a lot more tidy today. Her bed was made, the desk was organized and clean, a few candles lit the room. A picture on the wall caught my attention. I walked towards it, checking to see if Jane was still downstairs.

The picture was of her, young, at least ten, with a man who had a sunken face and large circle glasses. Little Jane was on a bike while the man held the handles. Behind them was this house, much more shinny and brand new looking than it did now. There was fresh paint and another rocking chair on the porch. The yard wasn't full of weeds and overgrown grass. It was beautiful, taken care of.

"Bit of a wanderer, aren't you ?" I jumped from the sound of her voice.

My cheeks grew soft. "Sorry." I mumbled.

She looked at the photo. Less curious than I had been but admiring it just the same. With an exhale and bringing her attention back on to me, her thumb and forefinger were used to raise my chin. "Shower. And then come downstairs to help me with dinner."

On my way back downstairs, I noticed the picture had been taken down.