Little Girl Blue - 𝐖𝐋𝐖

𝐈. Pragma- Thirty

"Bismillah."

The faucet rained down onto my hand, right hand first three times before I wet the other, cupping my palm to embrace the cleansing. Left hand three times.

My right hand lifted to my mouth and nose. I swished around the substance before spitting, the water dripping from my cheeks three more times. I reached beneath the running spring, bringing my wet hands back up to my face and clawing them down to my chin. Again, I repeated three more times. Then the right arm, then the left.

My hands dipped again. I brought them to the center of my head and ran it to my nape. I extended my fingers, beginning at the inside of my ears and carried them outward to the lobes.

I balanced on one foot, eyeing the drain, eyeing the water that I tried to be as still as. With the bend of my body I wet my toes, then proceeded to run my hands through each crevice three more times, then the left with my left hand.

My breath returned to my body as I stood upright. "Ash-hadu Allah ilaha illa Allah, wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan rasoolu Allah." There is no God but God; Muhammad is the Prophet of God.

I twisted the knob, exiting the bathroom as I tiptoed down the hall and into a secluded corner in the living space. There, I used as towel as my mat, inhaling deeply at the still dark sky reigned outside of the large window.

I stood east, trembling, my fingers spread apart just as I brought my thumbs behind my ears. "Allahu akbar." Allah is the greatest. With my right hand over my left, crossed and sitting on my belly, I sang:

"Subhanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika wa tabarakasmuka, wa ta'ala jadduka wa la ilaha ghairuk." Glory is to you o Allah, and praise. Blessed is Your name and Exalted is Your Majesty. There is none worthy of worship but You. "A'audo billaahi minash-shatytaamir rejeem," I seek protection with Allah from Satan, the accursed.

The broken Arabic fled from my tongue, "Bis-millaahir rahmaanir raheem," in the name of Allah-the most Compassionate, Most Merciful. "Alhamdu lillaahi Rabbil 'aalameen," All praise is for Allah-Lord of all worlds. "Ar-Rahmaanir-Raheem. Maaliki Yawmid-Deen," the Most Compassionate, Most Merciful. Master of the Day of Judgement.

"Iyyaaka na'budu wa lyyaaka nasta'een," You alone we worship and You alone we ask for help. "Ihdinas-Siraatal-Mustaqueen." Guide us along the Straight Path. "Siraatal- lazeena an'amta 'alaihim Ghayril-maghdoobi 'alaihim wa lad-daaalleen," the Path of those You have blessed— not those You are displeased with, or those who are astray.

Swallowing, "Ameen." Allah, hear my prayer. "Qul huwaul lahu ahad Allah hus-samad Lam yalid walam yulad Walam yakul-lahoo kufuwan ahad." He is Allah who is One, Allah the Eternal Refuge. He neither begets nor is born, nor is their to Him any equivalent."

I bent down, my hands sliding to my knees as my back became parallel with heaven. "Allahu akbar."

"Subhanna Rabbi yal Adheem. Subhanna Rabbi yal Adheem. Subhanna Rabbi yal Adheem," Glorious is my Lord the most great.

I rose again, back erect and aching, "Samiallah Huliman Hamidah," Allah hears those who praise Him. "Rabana Walakal Hamd," Our Lord, all praise is for you.

"Allahu akbar." As the words left my mouth I feel to my knees. The thread of the cotton wiggling through my toes, my fingers stretching out to the end of the towel. My head bowed to the earth as I wept, "Subhanna Rabbiyal A'laa. Subhanna Rabbiyal A'laa. Subhanna Rabbiyal A'laa," Glorious is my Lord, the most High.

Pushing back on my knees, "Allahu akbar." Again for a second before lowering my body to the floor in surrender, in grace. "Subhanna Rabbiyal A'laa..." This continued, my voice becoming hoarse and the streams of tears blurring my vision with each familiar move of lowering and twisting my body. My head anchoring right then left, my hands cupping in hopes to receive.