Little Girl Blue - 𝐖𝐋𝐖

𝐈. Ludus- Six

I hadn't been here long. Not long enough to read patterns or make judgements, but Jane had somehow shown me hers. Not intentionally. No. She wasn't dumb enough to do that. But they were clear, and didn't take a magnifying glass to see the woman didn't like being wrong and she didn't like not knowing.

It was as if both were an offense to her being, and quite frankly, an inconvenience. And here I was, serving her those things on a platter. It was a platter she chose the night she brought me home. But it was a platter in which I continuously allowed her to feed off of nonetheless.

But of all things Jane didn't like, she loathed a liar.

The sheets had become damp with sweat and the opened window allowed a cool breeze to pass through. I was facing the ceiling, thinking as one does at this hour of the night, becoming slightly irritable with the shape of the mattress and the position of the pillow, and thought a glass of water could soothe my frustrations.

With my fingers stuck around the side of the mug, I paced around the kitchen. Occasionally taking sips and staring out the window before I continued with the overthinking.

A light had flickered on. "You're up late."

It was her voice that caused me to grow stoic and drop the mug finally full of water. "Shit!" I watched the glass sprinkle across the tile, water dripping down my legs that remained unclothed.

Jane brought a hand to her lips, covering a tiny laugh that I would've found sweet and serene had she not caught me in the moment.

Frantically I scrambled around, trying to cover myself and find towels to begin cleaning up the mess I've created. In the process I stepped on a shard of glass, "Damnit!"  I hopped on one leg stupidly, blood dripping down from the length of my foot.

"If you'd slow down maybe you wouldn't have cut yourself." Her tone is laced with amusement.

I growled, "Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Laughing. It's not funny." I hopped over to the paper towel, careful to avoid the broken glass and spilled water.

She cautiously stepped over the shards, dressed in a black fabric that hugged her skin like a second layer. It was long, just to her calves but cut low enough to see the valley between her chest. "Well maybe you should learn to laugh more."

I rolled my eyes, "Please, no more philosophical talks. I was just getting a drink of water I didn't mean to wake you." I looked over her outfit again and thought she had been awake long before I was, perhaps not planning to get any sleep at all tonight.

Jane pinched her fingers around my waist and backed me against the cupboards, tapping the granite. "Jump up."

She grabbed a cloth and poured liquid from a brown bottle over it. Whatever it was had smelled. "This might sting." With a firm hand, she grabbed my ankle and began dabbing the rag against the cut. I flinched and let out a small groans to which she continued to find funny.

She finished it off with a bandage, carefully holding my leg like it was a delicate thing, wrapping and tucking once she had been sure the blood was stopped.

Every now and then her fingers or arm would brush past my knee and I would jump at the contact or again become aware that she was wedged between my uncovered legs. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

I shook my head, now embarrassed. "Thank you."

She hummed in response and retrieved a mop and broom.

I jumped down from the counter, carful of where I placed my feet. "Let me." I offered.

She resumed her earlier position with her body pressed against the wall, arms crossed, watching me as always. "What were you doing up this late?" She asked.

"Couldn't sleep." I grabbed the dustpan, "You?"

Looking down at her own outfit she was dolled up with makeup and heels and curled hair. Clearing her throat, "Me too."

"You wear cocktail dresses to bed?"

She switched her stance, "I was going to go out."

"What stopped you?"

"You."

"Don't let me interrupt your plans."

"You aren't..."

"You go out often." It wasn't a question despite how it was presented. "I mean...you...I—"

Chuckling again, "I knew you were shy but this . . . this. . . nervousness is new."

I stopped my sweeping to look at her. "You make me nervous."

Jane floated across the kitchen and got her own glass of water, joining me with our backs pressed against the countertop. "I do?"

"You say that as if you're surprised."

She looked down at me, smiled and drank. "Well I'm not, really." Then nudged me with her elbow, "It's cute, though."

I went back to the bed with my head down.Cute.

From the big window the moon was full and glowing with the stars surrounding it, also large and bright. Beneath it all the grass swayed and created a quiet song. At first I thought it was odd for her to be here. Alone, no neighbors. Just a house and the little field behind it. But now, now I understand.

The empty seats in front of me became occupied by Jane's figure. She took off her coat, sliding the material down her smooth arms and onto the back of the chair. Once seated she hiked her dress up to her thighs and bent down to take off her heels. Her silhouette was outlined by the moonlight, her hair cascading over sunken shoulders.

At last she sat, facing me with hands folded on her lap. The string that sparked the lamp was pulled.

I spoke suddenly, "The other night," It was the night when she came home drunk and had her body pressed against mine. I was always thinking about that night. "You--" Pausing, "Were drunk and . . . "

"Yes?" A sigh fled from her pouty lips, "I was quite drunk that night."

"You drink a lot." It was a lot of audacity to have, me questioning her like she owed me something. "And I know it's none of my business bu—"

"You're right. But it's my fault for expecting you not to be curious. So yes I drink a lot and go out on occasion." She uncrossed her legs and placed her elbows on her knees, leaning forward. "Anything else?"

I decided not responding would be best, turning to my side hoping that she'd leave, either go off to where she had intended to or back up to her room until breakfast.

The light flickered off again. The floorboards creaked and I felt a dip in the folded bed. Her smell, something floral, filled my nostrils. "Now it's my turn." I took a deep breath. "What did you do to get kicked out?"

"It wasn't my fault."

"I'm sure your parents don't see it that way."

I sighed, there was no proper way to word it. "I don't think I was enough for them."

"Care to elaborate?"

Swallowing, "No. Not really, but you know Fatimah and she set the bar pretty high."

"And your parents wanted more?"

"Well . . .yes. More than what I had." I tucked my arm under my head to prop myself up. At this angle I could see Jane better, she had placed a few strands of hair behind her ear and was hovering over me, her breast spilling over close to my cheek.

"And what did you have?"

"Not much more than what I have now." I closed my eyes, begging for sleep to come. "No more questions, Jane."