Devil of Silver - Mattheo Riddle

S e v e n t e e n

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Mattheo

It's been weeks since Y/N last spoken to me. I knew she was going to find out at some point but not like this.
Things have been weird around Hogwarts lately, i haven't communicated with anyone and i barely went to my classes anyways. Snape has been suspiciously wary around me, he would pick on me more than usual whether it was when I did decide to show up to class or even when I would be passing by in the corridors.

I feel lost without her.

Like everything came to a halt when I saw her walk away from me in the hall when Professor McGonagall showed up. I hurt her and I promised myself that she would be the only one I would never do that to.

I hated her but I love her.

Her presence always brought me warmth and comfort and that was dragged away because of me. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to hurt Weasley the way he hurt her. Every now and then I would catch a small glimpse of Y/N but she would quickly leave the room so she didn't have to face me.

She was ripping my heart out but I couldn't it. She was becoming stronger than me. she made me weak with love.

I would do anything for her but she didn't know that.

I remember the day I came to Hogwarts and she was one of the first people to greet me but was cold to her from then. I had a reputation to uphold because of my family. I loathed it. Y/N didn't seem to mind my attitude towards her however and I think that's what attracted me towards her. So I started to pay more attention to her and those around her. I would use whatever chance I got to sit near her in class, to be near her in the Great Hall but I didn't think she ever noticed me.

I could easily read everyone else's mind but with Y/N, it was different at the start. She was hard to get through to but then when we were put into detention together, it was just her mind with me and she was the easiest person to read. That's when I realised how she felt about me so I wanted to play mind games with her. I made her have visions about me so she couldn't stop thinking of me and it worked.

She was begging for me.

But then I saw how broken she was from Weasley. I saw the horrible things he had done to her through her thoughts. I would notice how she would flinch every time someone came too close to her, how she would easily become uncomfortable whenever Fred appeared. It's all she thought about until she met me properly. I watched as she replayed those memories in her head when she was with her friends, when she was eating or during class. She always got lost in those thoughts and it would become too much for her because every time she always got up quickly and left the room.

I felt her pain. I went through the same thing but I couldn't tell her that. I didn't want her to feel sorry for me. I loved the fact that we were getting closer, I was soon eventually going to ask her out on a date but then Malfoy got in the way. I knew he was in love with her too but I couldn't have that.

I love her. Not him.

I watched how she slowly fell in love with him. It burned inside of me seeing her happy with him but it didn't hurt so much because her smile would ease it. She has been through enough pain already and I only made it worse. But it was because I love her.

She deserves Malfoy, not me.

"Your presence is requested Mr Riddle." A cold stern nasally voice called from before me as I ripped my eyes from the parchment in front of me and immediately covered it. My heart beat quickened as I lifted my head and saw Snape standing in front of the table. I slightly shook my head and realised I was still in the Great Hall and it was almost lunch time. I was in here all morning thinking of Y/N.