CAN I TRUST HIM?

Running Again?

" I had a great lunch. Thanks, Kai or Liam?"  Sam said and was smiling a lot, batting her eyelashes and all that. 

"Me too and Kai's fine." He said that and opened the passenger seat door for sam. She got in and then I was going for the driver's seat when Kai Turned around and stopped me. 

"You probably don't know this but Liam which is me had a girlfriend in high school. Natalie?" He looked at me suspiciously and my heart was going to explode out of my chest and it was not a good feeling. the only thing that was shouting in my mind was- RUN RUN RUN.

"Actually I knew that. Sam told me all of her high school drama the other day and also you addressed Sam as the girl you cheated on with so I figured," I said and gave a light chuckle at the end and just really really hoped no fear of getting caught would be visible in my voice.

" Ohh really? You know when I first saw you, I thought you were her, Natalie I mean. You looked just like her. No, you look just like her. " his hand then took a strand of my hair and put it behind my ears. He did not take his hand away though after doing that, his hand lingered there and he said his next words so softly, I thought I imagined it. " I wish you were her."  Then he took a step back and said he'd see both of us tomorrow at work. I stood there stunned out of my mind. what just happened? WHAT. THE. FUCK.

***

I have made up my decision. I don't know if it's good or bad but it's the only way. I have no choice left. He knows. My dad's best friend who was a police officer helped me change my identity and for giving me a background then. I am sure he will do that for me again, i just have to go meet him and ask for it. 

*Flashback*

I always hated funerals. I hated that there were people who showed fake sentiment after that person died but never actually cared when they were alive. I hated how they said sorry when it wasn't their fault and they even knew it. the most I hated was their looks, eyes filled with fake sympathies, frowned brows and weird smiles. Sometimes even fake tears. I remember telling my dad that when they prepare my funeral. I only wanted people who actually cared for me, who actually were sad and I wanted very limited people, just very close friends and just my parents and grandparents there. that's it. So when I was preparing My dad's funeral I kept in mind what he replied that day, "The worst day of my life will be when I'll have to prepare for your funeral but I'm pretty sure you will , lets hope not soon though, promise me that you'll play a very happy song, really happy and you play a video where everybody I loved is there and everybody's smiling. I don't want anybody who cared for me to cry but to smile and feel grateful I was there with them." 

So that's what I was preparing right now, everybody was there in black clothes with sad smiles but I realized there were no people who were faking it. My dad was like that, everyone cared for him. So I grabbed everyone's attention and said," Hi, so umm I would like you all to come to the living room and uhh watch something." I went to the living room and switched the television on and made sure everyone was there, I played the video. The first video was of him dancing with my mom on my first birthday, everyone was there laughing and he was dancing goofily, and then small small videos came and now everybody had tears in their eyes but everybody was laughing. 

when the whole thing was over, I went to my parents room and started sobbing, cause his death was my fault. my mom didn't even come to attend the ceremony. I didn't invite her but I figured she would come nonetheless. I didn't wanted to face anyone, tell anyone how he died and how it was all my fault. I wanted to forget what happened and I wanted a clean slate. I felt someone's hand on my shoulders. I turned around and saw uncle Adam. he was my father's best friend and he knew everything. 

" What do you want Natalie?"  He asked me.

"what do you mean?"

" I know you don't want to hear me say sorry, I know you don't want my sympathies and condolences, tell me what do you want right now?"

" I want to forget this happened, I want a clean slate, I don't want to be remembered as the daughter who- who kille-" I couldn't complete the sentence, I started sobbing again. 

" IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. YOU CAN'T BLAME YOURSELF NAT"

" You asked me what do I want, I want a new name, new background and I don't ever want my mother to find me. I want her to be gone forever from my life. I want to start forever and forget this ever happened to me. "

*Flashback ends*

I sent a mail to work saying that i won't be coming to work tomorrow or the day after tomorrow because of a family emergency. I dialed Sam's number to tell her the same. 

"Hey I'm no weatherman but you can expect a few inches tonight" i laughed so hard after hearing this, so we  say pick up lines that someone used it on us to each other on call as greeting, it became like a tradition. we can't always use it as greeting cause not always someone uses pick up lines on us but when we do, its too funny. God, I'm gonna miss her. 

"Who said this to you?" I am still laughing at the thought someone would actually use it and think it would work.

"A guy from work, I replied- Did you really think it would work? and then he said,- It brought a smile to your face so yeah I think it did. With a huge grin on his face and he really was cute and hot so I smiled back and then he asked me out and then I said yes, His really cheesy and corny pick up line worked! So I am going on a date with him tomorrow. Isn't that crazy? what about you?"

" Yeah, it crazy but really cute. I called to let you know that i won't be coming to work tomorrow or probably not the day after, it's a family emergency, i have to go meet an uncle and go on this really long road trip."

"To where?"

"uhmm... Virginia." I was hesitant but then figured I shouldn't lie too much cause that will create more suspicion.

" OH wow. You know what? We should go together, It's been a while since I visited my parents and it would be like a really fun girls road trip. We haven't been anywhere together ever and I really think it would be sooo fun. what do you say?"

" uhmm don't you have a date tomorrow that you were so excited about? We can go another time...?"

" Oh I can do the date thing anytime but I won't go if you don't want me to. I don't wanna be an intrusion you know. Don't worry about me, if you don't wanna go with me it's totally fine, I definitely won't mind, like at all. we'll forget i ever asked. okay?"

"No no its not that. I for sure want to go with you, I just didn't wanna trouble you. I'll pick you up at 6 in the morning."

"Okay! I am so excitedd! see you soon babe. love you"

"love you too"

I hung up but I was having a panic attack. What if she recognizes my uncle and what if she will figure out that I in fact am Natalie. It can't happen. I won't let it happen.