CAN I TRUST HIM?

INCITING INCIDENT

Caella's POV:

Yesterday was amazing. Kai was nice. I mean he was good but there was something telling me to stay away from him. I don't know...it's just weird and hard to explain. He didn't say or do anything weird but he just seemed a little...

"Caella! K! Where are you?! I've been banging this door for like 10 minutes! Are you there or not?" Samantha was shouting behind the door. I didn't realize the doorbell before her. Oh God! She's going to kill me. Sam never wants to be waited or held up. She hates it. I remember the day when she was stood up by a guy...and it was horrible how she took revenge.

"Hi Sam!" I opened the door and made my face as cheerful as possible.

Well, I tried okay?

"Are you serious right now? I thought you've been eaten by.. Uh.. The goldfish!"
She said that pointing towards my goldfish in a small glass bowl.

"Wow Sam you and your imagination. " I said dryly and rolled my eyes.

"Don't blame me okay? I've been bangin' that door for years and you weren't responding. What could have explained that? "

"Don't you think you are over reactiing? You knocked that door for like... Two minutes. "

"Yeah right" She rolled her eyes and continued talking before I could reply. "Forget it. You know we have to go shopping!" She started squeling.

"Well then what are we waiting for? " I said dryly. I am not the person who despises shopping but I don't love it as well. I'd rather be at home binge watching friends or the vampire diaries. Sam on the other hand loves shopping. She seeks for opportunities to dress up. I was like her once but then I just lost interest at dressing up because I had no one to dress up for. No, I don't want your sympathy or your sorry. No. No. No. I don't like victimizing myself so I usually don't tell people. I only told samantha when I was sure that I could...trust her.

***

We shopped for two hours. No, correction Sam shopped for two hours. She bugged me a lot to buy a few dresses which were undoubtedly looking really good in me but it felt too sophisticated for me, like it didn't suit my personality. I was really exhausted with the tiring shopping. I like being tired cause it would mean a sleepfull (is that even a word?) night but luck was never with me. Even if I took sleeping pills or how tired I am, I would never get the blissful darkness. The nightmares always find a way to get in. I know I should get used to it by now but every time I see it, it feels like the first time and I feels so real, so real that... I'd rather not talk about it. I am finally being closer to my dreams. Everything feels so surreal. Everything I ever dreamt of is getting closer every minute. If only he was there with me now.

Why did you leave dad? Wasn't I enough? Didn't you love me enough to let you stay?

Tears. Small word huh? Five alphabets. In physiology, the tears refer to the watery secretion of the lacrimal glands that serve to moisten the conjunctiva. Emotional secretion of tears may serve a biological function by excreting stress-inducing hormones built up through times of emotional distress. They are used for reducing stress or emotional distress. Emotional. Wow. I mean whoever made this human body sure took care of all the things. It knew that humans are stupid to have emotions and thst they will go through emotional distress. So it made made something like tears to reduce them. What he did not know was that when the emotions are too strong. It won't be able to help much.

Tears, crying never helped me. It should've but it didn't. Everytime I think of him and what he did. I feel like I am not worth anything. That's why he left me. I don't deserve any of this.