The Impossible Happy

Gaze

"Yo, Cas" the Angel looked up to see Dean gesturing with his head to the man at the door. Castiel didn't need to look twice to recognize who he was.

"His name is Jacob, he's a member of my garrison."

The door opened once more, 4 more smartly dressed men and women enter.

"Oh, fuck." this from Sam. "Why are they here?"

Castiel and Dean shared a worried look. Dean already had his hand on the blade in his jeans, he was on the edge of his seat, ready to attack, as the group advanced forward.

"Castiel." Who seemed to be the lead figure, Jacob, spoke.

"Jacob." Castiel did not look at him. The table seemed to interest him far more.

"You know why we are here."

"Yes." Castiel's eyes stayed lowered. Dean tried his best to stretch across the table, he wanted so badly to protect him.

"No." Sam spoke up. "Why are you dicks here, anyways."

"You don't know? Well, goodie for me. See, Sam, your brother and Castiel have begun--"

"Castiel and your brother have begun nothin'." Dean barked. "There's no reason for these douches to be here. And I suggest they leave if they know what's good for them." Dean pulled his blade out, looking it over.

Jacob rolled his eyes and spoke.

"Castiel, you understand you have rebelled."

"Yes."

"You understand how this will have to be dealt with."

"Yes." Dean looked at Castiel, appalled.

"Cas--what the hell do you think you're doin'? Let's shred these feathery freaks." Dean spat out the last two words.

"Dean." His tone was strained. "There is no need for a fight. I understand what I have done. And I will accept the consequences."

"I can't let you do that."

"You don't want me. I'm doing this for you." Castiel whispered. Each word escaping his lips left holes in Dean's body.

"Ok, c'mon guys--what the hell is this? What'd I miss?" Sam looked around frantically for an answer.

"Sam, your brother--" before Jacob could get another word out, Dean lunged for the Angel, stabbing him in the lower abdomen, feeling the energy pulse through him as the Angel faded. The 4 angels readily armed themselves and started for the hunter.
* * * *
Castiel's blade sunk into the flesh of a fellow angel he had pinned. Dean stabbed into the back of an angel he had in a choke hold. That was the last of them. Dean looked back up at the bar tender. He sighed when he saw the dumbfounded expression on his face.

"Cas, grab Sam. Let's get out of here."
----------------------------------------------"Okay, would you please let me know what the fuck that was?"

They had been in the car an hour. Nothing but silence had engulfed the two men. They were in the impala, Cas had taken the other car and was following close behind the brothers.

Dean sighed.

"Nothing, Sam. Let it go. Get some shut eye. We'll talk about this tomorrow"

"No, Dean. I think I deserve some answers here, man. What the fuck is this?"

"Nothing, Sam."

"Cas was about to sacrifice himself, you call that nothing? Besides, when did he rebel?"

"Drop it, Sam."

"You know I will figure it out one way or another."

Dean was too tired to fight anymore. He just wanted the pain to go away.

"Dean?" Sam spoke gruffly, as if he was trying to pluck answers from Dean's braid through pure word power.

"Sam. Please. Not now." Dean was earnest, Sam could tell so much. He really wanted the subject dropped. It was obvious. Sam decided to shut up, angrily. An awkward, tension filled ride ensued. No matter, this was better for Dean than telling the truth. Strange, he thought, how it had become second nature to hide the truth from the people he loved most.

It was too easy.
----------------------------------------------Sam half ran into the bunker as soon as they pulled up. Leaving Dean in the cold, waiting for Castiel.

Dean rubbed his temples, closing his eyes, fed up with the world. The Angel stood in front of him.

"Cas, you could've been killed tonight."

"I know."

"You were going to give yourself up."

"What we had done was wrong." Castiel's tone was final somehow. The way he said had.

"'What we had done'?" Dean inquired "As far as I know we're still doin' it."

"Dean, I know you don't want me."

"I never said that." Dean sighed and took a step closer. "Don't you get it? Why is this so hard for you to get? I want you. I'd do anything for you." Dean reached out and pulled Cas close. He took a breath. "Cas, baby, I need you."

Castiel was silent. Nothing could be heard but the beating of hearts.

"We should go look at the stars." Said the Angel.

"What?"

"Like you and Sam used to, let's go sit and look at the stars." Castiel smiled slightly, which made Dean smile too.

The Angel grabbed him by the wrist and lead him to the hood of the Impala. They both sat, looking up, in silence.