I feel the tears running down my face but I don't pay any attention to them. My heart was just ripped out of my chest but that doesn't matter. What matters now is Abby. I hold on to her as she screams no over and over again. Her fingernails are digging into my chest as she holds on to me but I don't care. The doctor goes over to the door.
"I'll give you two a few minutes and then I'll be back to discuss what happens next."
He walks out of the room and closes the door behind him. What happens next? And then it hits me. Abby still has to deliver our baby. Our no longer living baby. Oh god. I hold on to her even tighter as I allow myself a few minutes to grieve with her.
When I'm able to pull myself together enough I pull back and look down at Abbys face. Shes so pale with bloodshot eyes. Her tears are still pouring out like a steady rain but she's gone quiet. There's no more yelling and no sounds are accompanying her tears. She's just staring up at the ceiling with a look of absolute devastation on her face.
I place my hand on the side of her face and turn it so she's looking in my direction but I can tell she isn't really seeing me. I push her now damp hair behind her ear.
"Abby, sweetheart, the doctors going to be back in a few minutes and I'm going to need you to try and listen to him so you know what's going to happen. I know you want to shut down right now and, God so do I, but we can't. We still have to be here for our baby. Okay?"
I see her eyes focus on mine and and a new wave of sadness passing over her. But even as her lip begins to tremble she nods her head yes.
"Okay, good. You're strong. You can do this Abby. And I'm right here with you."
"I'm sorry."
I close my eyes at the pain in her voice and the pain those two words send through me.
"Abigail, you have nothing to be sorry for. Do you hear me?"
"But I'm the one carrying the baby. My body's the one that didn't do what it's supposed to do and keep our baby safe. How isn't it my fault?"
Her words cut through me like a knife. I take her face in both my hands and get very close to her.
"No. Don't do that. Don't torture yourself like that. This is not your fault."
The doctor knocks softy on the door before coming in. I stand up and look at him as I take Abbys hand in mine.
"Doctor, do you have any idea what could of happened? Why the baby didn't make it?"
He shakes his head.
"No I don't. We won't know more until we deliver the baby and if there are no obvious signs that we can see then we can do different tests to see what the cause was."
"Do you think whatever it was could of been prevented by Abby? She's blaming herself."
He looks at Abby and walks over to the other side of the bed.
"Abby, the sad truth is that some babies just don't make it. It could be any number of things, like an infection, a problem with the placenta, or the umbilical cord, to name a few. But I can promise you it's nothing you did. Don't put the blame on yourself."
I squeeze her hand.
"So what happens now?"
As he answers he speaks to Abigail even though she won't make eye contact with him.
"Abigail, you'll need to deliver the baby. It's best for you to deliver vaginally instead of by c-section. You have the option of waiting for your body to go into labor naturally or we can give you medication to induce labor. If you wait you will need to be closely monitored and you need to be aware that the baby may start to deteriorate if it takes too long." I hear Abby sob and I close my eyes for a minute before I lean down and brush her hair out of her face. I stay there and just look at her as the doctor continues. "If we give you medication it can take up to forty eight hours to work, so you'll be able to go home and collect anything you want and make any arrangements you need while you wait for labor to begin. You guys can discuss it and I can come back in when you're ready."
"I want the medication. Today."
She doesn't take her eyes off mine and I shake my head.
"Whatever you want, sweetheart."
I kiss her forhead before standing up and turning to the doctor.
"So you can give her the medicine now and I can take her home?"
He nods his head yes.
"Then that's what we'll do."
"Okay. Let me go fill out the paperwork and my nurse will be in shortly to go over everything with you. Once labor begins then make sure you call me right away."
I shake his hand.
"I will, thank you Doctor Moore."
He leaves the room and I sit on the side of the bed and pull Abby against me. I just hold her while the tears run down both our faces.
I can't believe this is happening. Just a couple hours ago I was thinking about how much I want to marry her and have a big family together and now I'm holding her as we both mourn the loss of a child we never got to meet.
A short time later the nurse comes in. She has a very somber look on her face as she goes over all the details of what to expect over the next couple of hours to possibly days. I pay close attention because I'm not sure how much Abby. She just has a blank look on her face as she stares up at the ceiling. The tears have slowed down some but they're still there.
I can't wait to get her home and just hold her. I want to comfort her through this and hopefully make it a little less awful in any way I can. But I also need her. My heart feels like its missing from my chest. It hurts to breath and the only thing that will make it hurt a little less is Abigail.
The nurse has a pill for her to take and I have to physically pull her into an upright position so she can take it. I sit behind her to hold her up as the nurse hands her the pill and then a small cup of water. When she's done the nurse gives me all the paperwork explaining what's going to happen and I fold it up and stick it in my pocket.
"You can take her home now. Make sure you call if you have any questions at all. Someone will be available to answer you questions twenty four hours a day so don't hesitate."
"Thank you."
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
I nod my head in thanks and then she leaves the room.
"Abby, let's go home and get you to bed."
She doesn't respond so I stand up and pull her to her feet. She leans against me and I wrap and arm around her as I lead her out to the car.
Once we're home she walks straight back to out room and I follow her. She sits on the side of the bed as I go over to my dresser to take out one of my tshirts. I stand in front of her and lift her to her feet so I can pull her dress off over her head. She's standing in front of me in nothing but her underwear. I place my hand on her stomach and the grief hits me like a mack truck. I fall to my knees and place both my hands on her. I gently kiss her bare skin and the sound that comes from me is unlike any sound I've ever made before. Abby puts her hands in my hair and holds me as I break down. I feel her shaking with her own grief and after a minute I collect myself enough to stand up. I grab the tshirt I dropped and pull it over her head.
"Andrew?"
"I'm okay." I kiss her lightly on the lips. "You lay down and get some rest. I'll go make you something to eat. You're going to need your strength."
She climbs into bed and I kiss her forhead as I cover her up.
"Yell if you need me."
I leave her just staring at the wall and the sight of her so broken breaks my heart even more than it all ready is.
YOU ARE READING
Follow You (Second Chances Series Book 3)
عاطفية***Complete***Book 3 in a series involving the same group of friends** Andrew Miller had a difficult upbringing and as a result his friends are his family. He worked hard to build a life for himself and wants nothing more than to find someone to sha...
