H E A L and B L O O M

M O U R N E D M Y S O R R O W S

Do I miss the old days?

Yes, ignorance(more like being clueless) was absolute bliss,

I always believed that no matter how harsh the truth is it shouldn't be hidden so God gave me what I dearly asked him,

The more I stepped on truth the more it became hard to go back to how it was,

The more I realized The more they became distant, there did come a point when I wanted to hold someone's(his) hand and jump back to the strawberry land but I couldn't move an inch, I was stuck, STUCK!, it felt like my legs were plastered to the ground and the more I shouted the murkier it became, that state shook me to my core, my blood flowed cold, my breath grew rusty I felt like I was dying and it petrified me a LOT, I didn't want to die but there was nothing to live for either, there was a repeated chant going on in my messed up head WHY ME? I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS, WHAT DID I DO DESERVE THIS? WHY ME? I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? WHY ME? I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? WHY ME? I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? WHY ME? On the verge of losing it, I saw her going with her routine and acting whole just for me, something up there snapped, in that precise moment I knew she mattered to me more than my fucked up meaningless life, that she deserves better, a lot better than this so to do that I had to change my way of perceiving things, that's when I decided to carve the face I was given and grow a new one it sure was troublesome but once I did it I didn't even feel a shred of remorse, I knew for sure that my roots will be same that the ''IT'' will be always there and no matter what I do I can never change it but I made sure it never affects me in present or in the coming future.

P.S. After everything settled I wanted to thank them even if it was for their own good they were there for me so I looked back and found no one, not even a single soul, I turned back and smiled somehow I wasn't surprised.