H E A L and B L O O M

A T O N E M E N T

I'm the one who always talked big about not hating myself and loving the way I'm,

But in the shadows, I gravely loathed myself,

My words of wisdom only applied to others,

When it came to me,

I harbored deep resentment even for the women who gave birth to me,

Blaming everyone for what I did,

Hosting a pity party for myself,

Hitting myself in washrooms,

Envying everyone around me,

And then dealing with the anger and guilt which surrounds me by ghosting the people who give a fuck about me,

Anxiety, over-analyzing everything, always cursing others under my breath, running away from reality by surfing on the net,

All these new habits I discovered, which are rapidly eating me away,

These migraines, 4 hours of sleep,

Fucked up eating schedule,

Washing myself once a week,

Wetting the pillows silently,

Overworking myself to feel the numbness,