Paradox

Chapter 1

Today...

Sunny day...my favorite day but yet also an irritating day for me. I live for how cheerful the sunny day is, but the heat really makes me uncomfortable at the same time. "Did we have any agenda today?", I turned my body towards my manager.

"Are you kidding me ? Your last drama has been a hit and everyone wants you on their show." My manager said while turning his note book.

I looked towards the window, "Tell me.."

"You will have interview today, then photoshoot for the ads, then a recording for this variety show with school theme...there will be your senior there...Then at night, you asked me to clear your agenda."

I nodded my head, " Yeah, it's been five years...I need to visit them." I said quietly.

Becoming an actress never crossed my mind before. I never could see my life on this industry, it is hard, it is wild and at some point you must be ready to lose yourself if you get into the industry without any preparations but lucky me, I've met a really great family... a very supportive management that help me to keep sane until today.

I have my reasons why I get into this industry...it's for revenge. Not on a negative meaning but a revenge that will make a person regretting that they ever left me and let me going through my suffering phase in my life, alone.

I know that he is successful now, he is my senior on this industry and I know that somehow and at some point our path will meet. And when the time is come I want him to see me as a strong girl who not expecting anything from people that betrayed me...I am fine with my own self after all this time.

"Do you consider to do this talk show ?" My manager asked me and show me a video.

I watch it knowing that I could decline the offer but one person appear on the video and get my attention.

"When they start the recording ?" I asked.

"Next week.. on..uhm...Wednesday."

"I'll do it." I said after a moment and my manager seems happy with my decision. Hoping that I could see him for once after all this years.

I walked to the studio, the staff asking me to greet the regular casts before the recording start and I can't say no. I don't really like to talk to people if they are not that close to me, but my job makes me do it even though I hate it.

" You could meet Kenny, Leon, Sammy, Sean, Kyle...and, I think...One of the member seems will be late...you can meet him when we start the shooting though."

"Great, I will visit him once I'm done with my make up." I told the staff politely.

They know me as an actress that really keeping my life really private and I never get into any trouble or scandal. I've a great reputation that everyone love and I'm glad there is people who love me.

After done with my make up and outfit for the shooting which is me as a student, it brings so many memories the happy ones and the sad ones...but I'm happy with my outfit today.

Before they start I quickly greeting the regular members. They welcomes me warmly and asks me to be comfortable around them because we will act as a student with the same age.

When the shooting about to start, I quickly going back to my room to check my script. "Mila you need to be ready now." Said one of the staff.

I walked to the studio while my team waiting on the other side with the staff. I'm nervous, I don't know what kind of questions or jokes they will play but I hope I could be as good as them.

When they give me the cue to reveal myself, I hold the door handle and open the door slowly and poke my head into the class.

The first thing that caught my eyes is one of the member that I haven't greet before. He seems surprises when he look at me and so do I.

Aslan.

I look at the others who greetings me excitedly and then I walked to this small table and standing in front of them. Aslan presence is really strong and with him sitting right in front me it's not helping me at all.

I give my best smile," Hi, I'm transfer from a 'really private and yet far from the scandal' high school, Mila is here." I said and waving my hand.

Everyone seems excited and I can't help but to see how his reaction. Our eyes meet for a split second but then I quickly look into the others. "Mila here is a really famous actress, her acting on her last drama are really amazing and from there she got an awards...right?"

I nodded my head," Yes, I never thought that I could be like this actually. Starting from as a script writer before, I just come to an audition back then to replace my friend."

"So you get the role on the first attempt ?"

I nodded my head, "It's only a small role...but then I think I like theater, I feel comfortable with the stage and how people seems to get into the story that you've done...it's really a great feeling for me."

"How long you do the theater ?" Aslan asked me suddenly.

"Uhm...I start around 4 years ago." I said to Aslan. He seems want to asks me more but we know if he asks me more questions it will lead to our past that he tried so hard to hide.

" How about your parents, they must be proud with you, right?"

" Uhm, I believe so but my parents got into an accident on their way back home after watching my first theater performance..", I can't continue my story. And they seems understand.

" So they are not with you anymore?" Aslan asked me, I could see how shocked he is.

I nodded my head, "I haven't got a chance to hear what they think actually but somehow I know that they are proud with me." I said with a smile.

The recording process itself took a really long time and makes me tired. 

While I'm changing my outfit, I could hear my manager talk with someone and when I got out, I found Aslan sit on the sofa, looking at me.

I leaned my body at the table, "I know you hate me." Aslan said to me.

I don't give any expressions so he can't read my face. 

"I hate to see you on this situation....On this condition." He said again.

" Me either. But I'm glad that I could see your successful life. While I'm too scared to expect anything for my life." I said to him.

He doesn't said anything after that.

Honestly, I never imagined in a thousand year that we will talk coldly. Aslan and me used to be affectionate towards each other but now...no, we are cold towards each other.

"I think I should go now. Thank you for today though." I said to him and leave the room quickly.

I feel like to cry but I won't let myself do it. We lost everything the day he left me. And I'm the one who hurt the most because of it.

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