Now or Never

Chapter 17: News

George woke up from his worst nightmare he has ever had, hyperventilating. He quickly sat up and immediately saw stars from the sudden movements. He felt his nose being clogged by something and realized that he catch a cold. He groan to himself and remembered what had happened. He started to cry again as he felt water prick behind his eyeballs, but not enough for it to drop.

He scolded himself to stop crying and he got his composure back. It was now in the middle of the night, he thought as he looked at the window stars bright and shining happily as the sound of dropping noises from the roof hit the puddles outside. He felt a bit jealous at the stars but it doesn't give any solution. After all it doesn't even make sense.

He stood up and went to the kitchen and grabbed a wheat bread. He ate it, biting hard to stop himself to broke down.

He heard his phone from the bedroom ringing. Without thinking he rushed into his bedroom expecting for Clay to call. But instead of Clay it says, "hospital". Why was he even expecting Clay to call him? Clay's a cheater... and also his happiness. Clay completes him. And was now teared away from him.

He got worried on what news the hospital got for him.

He shakily tapped the answer button with his fingers and put the phone speaker on top of his ears.

"Hello?, is this George?" The woman from behind asked with voice hinted with... concern? The voice seeped through his ears going to his brain and processing everything. He started to get worried more and stuttered a 'yes' as a reply.

"I'm sorry but you're mom passed away. I'm sorry for your loss, mr. Davidson" the woman said. "She dies from cardiac arr-"

Instead of listening to the woman he clicked the end button and started to sob. He can't even count how many times he had cried in just twenty-four(24) hours. He sobbed but not a single tear had come out of his eyes. He's empty, he felt empty, super empty that he can't even shed a tear anymore.

The only person that -at least he knows- that cares- no cared about him was taken away from him. Everyone was taken away from him. Yes, Sapnap was there but he'll always be a second choice for he knows that Karl is going to be the first for Sapnap.

He went to the bathroom and stared at himself. He looked pretty much clapped. Eye bags are darker that it used to be, eyes red and puffy, 'who would want me if I look like this' he thought. Who would care for him if he's ugly? No one. That's what he thought.

He slide into the bathroom wall and curled into a ball. He buried his head into his slim arms. He looked beneath him and he could spot a sparkling metal beside his feet. The item sparks from the light bulb that seeped through his arms, calling out and tempting him to use it.

'It's not worth it' he stopped himself from using it, over and over again. Until his mind was already fogged by the temptation. He pulled the shining item and looked at it for a second. 'Is it worth it?' He asked himself or maybe the item, who knows.

He started to put the sharp item into his wrist, and then, swiped it. He winced in pain, he'd never thought it'd go that deep. He watched the blood drip from the deep wound, if he was thinking properly he'd think that the wound will need stitches, but unfortunately he wasn't. The blood dripped onto the tiled bathroom floor, making a piece of art.

"For mom" he swiftly swiped the item but it still cut a deep wound but he didn't care, all he felt was pleasure. It felt so good for him even though it doesn't look like it but it did.

"For my best friend" he swiped again.

"For me" again.

"And for Clay" and again but this time it was harder, but he expected it. The anger, jealousy, betrayal, and everything controlled him. He knew it wasn't him, but he didn't care. No one cared.

He put the now bloody item onto the white tiles and stared at nothing. He stood up unable to process to where his two feet were taking him.

But before he left the house and first left a note- a death note. He took a piece of paper and a blue pen. He wrote on the paper, pen scribbling shaky letters onto it.

"Dear friends,

I hope you all are happy now that I'm gone im sorry for being such a burden to you all. Please tell Clay to take care of himself and his boyfriend, I hope they're happy. Thank you all for taking me as a part of your life. I love you guys always and I'll now watching you from above. I'll be in peace, finally. Don't mind me- you never probably minded me. Don't miss me too much if you ever cared about me. I'm so sorry for being selfish and leaving you guys but it's probably for the best. I will never forget about you guys. See you later. Clay if you are reading this please don't follow me, take care of your boyfriend and always remember that I have forgiven you even though you've hurt me so much that it has to come to an end. I love you. Everything must come to an end. And If you are still reading this until now I just wanna say that I love you and you're valid, well- unlike me. Thank you all!!!

-Georgie <3"

He left the note in his kitchen counter and started to walk towards his own car.

He drove down into the highway, speeding. Not scared on what could've happened to him, because that was his intention. No one, absolutely no one cared about him. The blinding lights shone straight into his eyes as he squinted. Cars honking but he didn't care. His car wobbling into the wet highway. Even though it was chaos, the cops aren't here to arrest him.

He drove into the highway. Eyes beginning to blur again as he thought about all the memories. Tears hotter than before being stuck behind those brown irises.

It was about fifteen(15) minutes of speeding and he finally stopped in a dark place and completely over grown. The flickering lights not enough to lighten the darkened area.