Today Is Tomorrow's Yesterday

3

RORY:

Logan had been at work back and fourth a lot and while he tried to make time for me and the bundle of joy inside me, I started to see him less and less frequently. I knew he had an important job and the obligations that came with that however it was starting to feel excessive. Herr Huntzberger had been putting so much pressure on him and I was getting worried about him. What if this continued as a way to punish Logan for "abandoning" Odette and the London office?

I had been really stressed recently and this certainly wasn't helping. I had given my first few chapters to different publishing houses and a few had even replied to ask for a few more or to offer me a deal with a timeline but I had been so worried about Logan I couldn't concentrate to do enough work and it was driving me crazy. I had never been like this before because work had always been an outlet to pour all of my worries into but I guess writing something this personal made me think about both my when i was younger and what was going on around me. If i had any indication that Logan wasn't killing himself under his father's pressure I might have been able to focus. Alas, in the week i had tried to find a glimmer, a spark or even an essence of happiness in Logan's eyes when he came home at all hours of the night and I came up empty.

I decided to try and take up meditation to try and reach a calm focused mind that could process and move on but the quiet and slow movements made me think even harder about it. I kept sending myself down spirals of distrust, pain, worry, anger, regret and fear that I just couldn't deal with right now.

When i saw how miserable he had become, sometimes I found myself wondering if I should've told him or even kept the baby at all.  Then, when I found myself thinking that I paralysed myself with guilt. I was in an endless loop of negative emotions and stress and i could feel it wearing me down however I convinced myself it was just morning sickness or just the general pregnancy and I didn't want to concern Logan with something that might as well have been nothing.

It was about 10 p.m when I got a text from Logan:

LOGAN: Hey Ace, sorry I can't meet you at your place tonight, I got stuck at the office again and I think i'm gonna go unwind with Finn for drinks.

RORY:  No problem! Have fun and don't work to hard.

I shut off my phone, decided to order some late night chinese food and watch Pippi Longstocking. 

I watched for about 45 minutes after being content from food and drifted off. 

I woke up to my phone ringing, I looked at the clock and it was 4:30 am.

"Ace, I'm sorry for the late-night call but me and Finn were driving to my apartment when we crashed. I don't want to freak you out because we're both okay but I just wanted to check up on you. I'm going to head over to yours so we can wake up together." Logan said half yawning

"I'm glad you're ok. When you said car accident I nearly had a heart attack. I'll see you tomorrow, drive safe.  I love you."

"I love y--------------------." 

The line went dead.

I tried saying his name and waiting for a response but there wasn't one. I started to get really panicked and frantically tried to call him again. There was no answer. What happened? Was he hurt, lost, in another accident? 

I started to feel myself getting really hot and faint. I was pacing around endlessly and finding it hard to breathe. I got a paper bag and tried to breathe calmly but nothing was working.

He has to be ok, I thought. He has to be ok. Is he ok? 

I then found myself falling and all the lights went out.

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LOGAN: 

I knew it was irresponsible for me to drive when I was a little tipsy but Finn was wasted and I couldn't wait for a taxi. 

Halfway to my house, I found myself dosing off and before i knew it i had driven into a tree. The first thing i did was call  the tow service. This was a real pain in the ass but at least it wasn't work.

It'd been work, work, WORK for the last 3 weeks and I guessed that was why  I was so tired. I knew  my dad resented me being here but i didn't realise how much and I also knew that if i didn't keep up with his game I would lose and i didn't want to know what that meant.

The tow truck arrived and after I had instructed them on what to do i first called a cab for Finn and then for myself. With a drunken, "Cheers mate." From Finn he left him in his cab and clambered in. A few minutes later mine arrived.  This is when I took the chance to call Rory, I wasn't sure if she would pick up but I just wanted to hear her voice as I was a little shaken from the whole ordeal and she seemed to be able to make me forget about any niggling thought or feeling as soon as she talked. Just at the end of the call my phone died, fuck, what if she gets worried something happened? I thought. I tried to put the worry out of my mind and dozed off for the majority of the journey to hers.

When I woke up the taxi driver was just about to pull up to her house and I checked the time: 4:45. Knowing she needed her rest, I planned to sneak in and have her wake up next to me so she'd know i was ok. I got out of the car and, in my opinion, expertly closed the door without making a sound. I walked silent steps towards the door and opened it so slowly that I almost got a cramp from making my hand tired. I tiptoed in and just as i was about to exit the pitch black living room I tripped over what seemed to be a leg. I nearly jumped halfway out of my skin but calmed down enough to feel my way to the light switch.

As  I flicked it on my heart was in my mouth. What i saw was Rory lying there, in a position which suggested she hadn't just fallen asleep. She was lying face-first into the floor, right on her baby bump, her legs were twisted in an unnatural position and her arms were weirdly straight. I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes as I turned her over so as to not hurt the baby anymore and the tried to wake her by whispering, "Rory please, wake up. Rory please." I started to get frantic and started shaking her. "RORY, ACE WAKE UP!" I begged. I had her head in my lap and my hand on our baby. I knew it wasn't possible for me to feel it kick or move yet but i was trying to will something to happen so I knew it was ok.

After a minute of shouting and begging her to wake I knew something was horribly wrong. I started to sob uncontrollably as it was the only thing i could think to do and I was doing it so loudly that i nearly missed it when i heard her say," Logan, what's-what's wrong." in a weak but worried voice. My tears then turned into happy ones when i saw her eyes looking up at me. "Ace, you're okay, i can't believe you're okay. I thought, I thought that.... I lost you."

I began dialling 9-1-1 and told them what'd transpired. She looked confused after i had said all of this so I explained how I found her. Rory looked like she might burst into tears at any moment.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Logan."

"Ace, it's ok, all that matters is that you're ok."

"What about the baby? LOGAN what about the baby?"

"I don't know Ace" I said helplessly

We put our foreheads together and i kissed her softly. 

"Your lips have never felt so right.' I said with a tear rolling down my cheek.

A few minutes later the ambulance came and Rory was loaded on with monitors and all sorts of other tubes that made me realise the seriousness of the event. I put my hands on my head and hoped to God that she'd be ok. She and the baby had to be ok...