Let Me In ( Anne with an E fanfic)

Chapter 21

Trigger warning: PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety disorders, nightmares, flashbacks. This is not a walk in the park. If you'd rather skip the most triggering part, read up until you find a bunch of signs like this: *+*+*+*+*+ and then skip until the next one. Again: that just helps skip the worst. And there's no shame in doing so. You'll understand in wide terms what happened even if you don't read it.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/62L696ZDCDmKjGrw1c5vvW?si=k7HdR3lmRMWtQdp6PiZbLw

Practice divider line, so you know what it looks like (nothing triggering right now, just so you know what to look for later).

"Fuck, Diana, you better pick up this damn phone now" he told the monotonous tone that was ringing in his car speaker. He was in the parking lot of the hospital, some fifteen minutes before his shift.

"Hey, Gilbert! What's up? How are you?" Diana's happy voice finally answered.

"Why in the fucking world does Anne thinks sex should hurt and she shouldn't enjoy it?! What kind of assholes in their damn twisted mind could get that idea into her mind and how did you allow it to take root? And hell, can you explain why on earth she dated those hosers? Those animals?!" he was mad. His jaw was as tense as it could get and his voice was strong, yet strained, as he tried to reign it to not actually yell in the secluded space of his car. His hands tense, knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel of the shut down car as something to hold on to.

"Gilbert..." he heard Diana say tentatively after a few seconds of tense silence.

"Damn, don't Gilbert me, Diana! This shit is downright fucked up! The woman I love had traumas of her childhood, yes, but this ? This is shit. Don't even tell me you knew damn nothing about this shit. I wouldn't fucking believe you. She is about the most passionate and expressive individual I've ever met and she thinks she can't be herself with a man in bed? What the fuck is that?"

Gilbert was mad. He had been since they were walking. He had tried to calm down on the final stretch on the walk and had strived to be as caring and loving as he could, not wanting Anne to know how affected he was by everything. But as he dropped her at home on the way to the hospital, he had not been able to hold it any longer. Had Diana and Cole said nothing to her all this time? Nothing at all? He knew for a fact (one he would rather forget, thank you) that Diana and Jerry enjoyed a... very expressive and colourful sex life. He didn't have to catch Cole and Roy in the act as well to know they did so, too.

"Gilbert, it's not like we..." Diana tried again, but he was not having any of it.

"Don't come and tell me you didn't tell her anything about those two assholes. Why would you let her be in a relationship that clearly is not healthy? Shit, Diana, she apologised! She fucking apologised when she realised she had let on that she liked something! I have half a mind to go look for these two wads of shit and give them both a piece of my mind as well!"

"Wait, Gilbert, what?" her voice actually sounded surprised.

"Lincoln and Daniel are their names, I believe? I know you told me they weren't the best of boyfriends, at the time, but this fucking shit? This is criminal. It's almost like they..." he stopped his ranting only because the lump in his throat was becoming unbearable, not knowing anymore how he felt. Angry? Frustrated? Powerless? Sad? "I was not there, I know, but... Shit, this is... Fuck, it's like they broke her, somehow, and I..."

"Gilbert, listen to me. Take a breath, you're choking," Diana instructed him. He tried, because he knew she had a point, and rested his forehead on top of his hands, that were still on the steering wheel. "We have been telling her. For years. Even since she met Lincoln... Roy can even tell you more about him, they shared some classes and he was with her every step of the way..."