Let Me In ( Anne with an E fanfic)

Capítulo 5

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3gYjsoNypEpQrwulFY7ZBv?si=5EC4XGaDRlm1DIvDlVqKuA

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After another week without going outside, Anne was going crazy. She craved human interaction and nature, longing for the trail Gilbert had recommended not far from the apartment. Gilbert had a call with their common friends and she just stayed in the bedroom. If anything, she wanted to avoid any kind of noise: enough with Bash and Mary knowing about this weird arrangement. They didn't need anyone else knowing anything about them. And after that incident she had decided to stay in his bedroom and hadn't seen him in days, not coming out even for breakfast.

She took out her computer and started writing. Then erased the whole thing. Then started again. Erase. She wrote to Kak'wet. Caught up with Muriel over the phone, but felt there was no real purpose for the call. Then decided to call Cole, because it was early, she could speak freely and Gilbert wouldn't be back for hours, if she had memorized his schedule by now.

"What's up, Nan?" he answered.

"I'm going mental, Cole. I need to speak with someone," she said as she sat down on the sofa, grabbing a throw.

"You do know you're living with someone, right?"

"We're not exactly on speaking terms"

"Still? You've been there almost a month. Time to get it out. I'm pretty sure he must be going crazy as well"

"He gets to go out and interact with more people. He's a doctor, remember? Essential worker. Savior of lives. Allowed to go outside. He just looks so fucked up right now, like huge bags under his eyes. Did you know he gets about the hottest stubble over the day and then shaves the whole thing off every morning. Only to imagine him shaving it gives me goosebumps. Grows nice, too."

"Anne, of course I know. It's you the one who hasn't seen him in ten years, we meet every time I go to Toronto. And that's not what I meant and you know that."

"Right," she looked out of the window, ignoring the implications from her friend's comment. Cole stayed silent as well. "I just don't know how to speak to him, Cole," she admitted. "I see him and I can understand he's still the same Gilbert I had all those years. But I can't..." she choked, a lump in her throat and tears pooling in her eyes. Not being able to move certainly got you emotional.

"Don't you think it will get easier once you talk things through with him?"

She tried breathing deeply to calm her nerves.

"There's nothing to talk about. What's done is done and it has been for years," she said after a moment, an even voice even when she felt tears coming down her cheeks. "I don't think I can ever trust him again, Cole. I'm too scared for it."

"Nan, you just have to trust yourself. And communicate," she didn't answer anything. "May I suggest something? I know for a fact you haven't allowed yourself to even think about high school all these years" She made a noise. "I think it would help you heal and feel better if you came to terms with that. It was an important part of your life and ignoring it hasn't helped and will not help. Then you can move on. Then you can get to know adult Gilbert and see him as he really is and not a ghost that forces you to remember."

"It just hurts, Cole. It hurts so damn much to think about..." she answered, now resigned to cry.

"I know, Nana. It hurts because you have just bottled that up for years. It's time to face those things. Start small. I know Gilbert has our old yearbook around. Why don't you start with that? Just look at the pictures. Remember who you were. Maybe talk to him about a memory."