Friends with benefits | Chacha

Guilty

A/n
Y'all, chase is not dead. Some people didn't get that 😂 he's in a coma, he's still alive but he's unconscious

Charlis POV:
I'm still living with addison and nick. They feel bad for me. I know I'm over staying my welcome but I have no where else to go. They probably blame the overdose on me. I do too.
I don't blame them. I could have done so much more to help but I didn't.
Ever since he overdosed he's the only thing I've been able to think of. Everyone's telling me to move on with my life and stop grieving, but they don't know what it's like being a murderer.
He's basically dead because of me.
He's missing his whole youth.
Who knows, he could be in that coma for 20 years.
The only thing I've been doing is hooking up with guys. Yeah it's pretty annoying but it's how I grieve.
I'm just glad I at least got there while he was still overdosing. He could have died if I hadn't gotten there when I did.
I could have lost him forever.

You know what. I'm gonna do something.
I have to stop just sitting here and looking at the ceiling, it's not helping.
I need to do something, anything.
I can't feel guilty for the rest of my life.
I should feel good. I should feel good that I saved his life.
Charli: "hey can we do something?"
Addison: "like what?"
Charli: "I don't know. Something"
Addison: "I haven't heard you say that for the past 2 months"
Charli: "I'm ready."
Addison: "you're over chase?"
Charli: "when was I ever... under Chase??"
Addison: "you totally have feelings for him, it's obvious"
Charli: "I do not. I haven't seen him in months. How am I supposed to have feelings for him??"
Addison: "the only thing that you've been able to think of is him. And you pretend that the only reason you think of him is because you feel guilty but the truth is that you're worried about him"
Charli: "of course I'm worried about him. But that's only because I basically did this"
Addison: "you knew there was nothing you could have done, so stop using that excuse and admit you have feelings for him. It's getting annoying at this point"
Charli: "I do not have feelings for him. He's half dead"
Addison: "shore"
I rolled my eyes.
Charli: "yeah, ok Il admit that I miss him. Il admit that I care about him, damn Il even admit that I love him. But I am not in love with him and I most definitely do NOT have feelings for him"
Addison: "ok whatever Charli. What do you wanna do?"
Charli: "never mind. I don't wanna do anything"
Addison: "charli. You have to get up. You can't just wait for him to come back. He's not coming back, well at least not for a while. Please just get up"
Charli: "you don't know that. He could be back any day."
Addison: "what are the odds"
Charli: "I don't know! But I need hope! I can't just give up on him!"
Addison: "...about that Charli.... we need to talk"
Charli: "about what??"
Addison: "about you"
Charli: "what about me?"
Addison: "don't take this personally, because the last thing we'd want to do is hurt you right now... I think you should move out"
What? What did I do?? Why?? I have nowhere to stay?? My own friends are kicking my out??? Why???
Charli: "right. Right. I will definitely not take that personally! Because the last thing I'd want is my only friends to support me during times like this!"
Addison: "charli. We aren't doing this because we don't want you here-"
Charli: "whatever Addison! I don't care! Il go!"
Addison: "you could maybe stay at chases dorm"
Charli: "right! Because I totally wanna stay in my ex boyfriends room alone!"
I grabbed my bag aggressively and left.
What am I supposed to do now??
I'm supposed to go to chases room??
I have PTSD, I can't do that.
But looks like I'm gonna have too. I have nowhere else to go. I walked down the hallway slowly with my stuff and got to the door.
I slowly opened the door-

Chase...?
what-
This isn't real.
Charli: "what am I on."
Chase: "huh"
This is all in my head, it's not real.
I walked in the room.
Chase: "can you leave?"
Wait wait wait- that sounds like something chase would say—
This isn't real— it can't be— there's no way?!!??
Charli: "are you real?"
Chase: "no I'm a ghost."
He's real- oh my god.
Chase: "ooooo I'm a spooky ghost"
Oh my fucking god.
I ran up to him and hugged him.
Charli: "how?"
how is he here?? And why didn't he tell me??
Chase: "can you leave now?"
What-
Charli: "what do you mean can I leave?? How long have you been back??? Why haven't you told me???"
Chase: "a few days, and I didn't tell you because I thought "we weren't friends""
I swear to god he is just being annoying now.
Charli: "I saved your life and this is what I get??"
Chase: "saved my life?? Charli I didn't want to be saved!"
What-
Oh my god.
He didn't overdose of a drug addiction he overdosed because he wanted to kill him self-
Charli: "wait wait wait. You overdosed on purpose???"
Chase: "yeah. I thought that was pretty obvious-"
Before he could Finnish I slapped him.
Charli: "I HAVE SPENT FUCKING MONTHS FEELING GUILTY ABOUT YOU BEING IN A COMA AND YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE?!!??"
Chase: "yeah. I'm s-"
Charli: "I was worried about you. And I'm not worried about anyone! So that doesn't happen a lot! And this whole time you planned to do that??!"
Chase: "yea. I was so close this time too, but you just had to come in and "save"
Me."
Charli: "chase, there's still a chance for us. You can't just give up"
I hate giving him false hope but I can't let him try to kill him self again. Nick told me to say this, so I am.
Chase: "do you really mean that?"
Charli: "of course I mean it."

A/n
Hehe 😜✌️
I'm desperate for good ideas🙃
Also I'm so sorry but I might not update tomorrow, sometimes I just need a break. But maybe I will change my mind, we will see. It really depends on if I have ideas

Word count: 1087