The Pull

Chapter 14 (Rowena)

Rowena

I felt terrible as I watched him leave the room. But I didn't stop him, I couldn't. I had told him the truth, I was scared. Terrified even. Not just about being turned into a Vampire and all that entails. I was scared of his touch too. I was far too inexperienced to understand how I felt. After Alex, I had not been with a man. I had kissed a few, touched them over their clothes. But once Henry had entered my dreams, I wasn't interested in anyone. No doubt it was some effect of the Pull. Henry had admitted that he hadn't been with a woman since he met me, so it was probably a safe assumption.

I wasn't trying to reject him, but he scared me. The confident way he touched me made me feel inadequate. Would he be disappointed when he saw me? My old c-section scar marred my stomach and would be a constant reminder to him of Charlie. I know some human men would find that hard, so I can only imagine what savage thoughts raged in a vampires head, especially when their mate was involved.

I shouldn't have let him kiss me at all. I had wanted to tell him about my fears, which was why I had wanted to talk, but things went differently. Not that it had been bad, it was amazing. Sensual, seductive and sexy, he made me feel things even Alex hadn't.

I heard his footsteps above me, and I wondered what he was doing. I wanted to go to him, to apologise, but I wasn't wrong in the way I felt. Why was this so bloody complicated? It should have been easy. We were supposedly made for each other, after all. It wasn't hard to see the problem was me, and I didn't know how much longer Henry would put up with it.

That evening a coldness settled between us. We both felt it, and we barely looked at each other or spoke. I didn't feel like cooking, so I just made some toasted ham and cheese sandwiches and went to bed. I didn't bother clearing up. I suddenly felt exhausted.

The next day held the same frosty atmosphere: no coffee delivery, no sharing of food, no flirting. I felt depressed and had a headache, so I made an instant coffee and took it back to bed with me. It was a cooler day than yesterday. Too cold for a swim, so I laid in bed dozing.

I ventured out of my room again at lunchtime. Henry was nowhere to be seen. I started to get angry with him for ignoring me until I saw that he had cleaned up the kitchen after me. His gesture touched me. After all, he was a prince and unused to such chores. He was probably unaccustomed to being told no too. Discovering empathy for him and his situation did nothing for my mood, so I went back to bed without eating lunch.

I tossed and turned in bed, all my thoughts were of Henry. I looked at the wall that separated our rooms and thought about the metaphorical ones that kept us apart. The obvious one being Charlie. But he was well cared for, happy with his half-sister and father. Alex was a non-issue, he was mated and no threat to mine and Henry's relationship. He had urged me to go for it. Henry himself wasn't what stopped me. If I could have chosen my mate, I don't think I could have chosen better than him. He was strong, kind, a gentleman even. But I could see the darkness he kept hidden beneath the surface. The way he clenched his fists when I was around, the way his nose flared, the way his eyes were almost always red when I was near him. His control and discipline were both incredible and seductive. To my shame, the small slips he had, turned me on. His possessiveness made me tingle, too, despite everything I thought about such men usually.

The only thing stopping us was me and my fears. Struggling out of bed, I paced the room. I tried to think of one good reason to stay away from Henry that wasn't about me and my self-doubts. I couldn't think of one.

While I still had the courage, I went to his door. Before I lifted my fist to knock, his voice rang out sharply, "Come in."

He was lying in his bed with mustard coloured chinos on and a partially unbuttoned white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He was reading from a book I didn't recognise.