Fall Again(gxg)

CHAPTER III

(Beep… Beep… Beep) (wake up birdbrain! Wake up jackass! Wake up know-nothing kid! Hey Jade! Wake up!)

 

“FUCK YOU ALARM CLOCK! DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THOSE STUPID WORDS BECAUSE I’VE NEVER DONE STUPID THINGS!” I kicked the alarm clock in to the floor. I think I kicked it hard, because it is now scattered into pieces.

 “NOW LOOK AT ME ALARM CLOCK? LOOK AT ME NOW! WHO’S DEAD? WHO’S DEAD? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! FUCK YOU!”Oh Man, Fucking Alarm Clock such a piece of shit! Fuck you Clock may all your relatives, friends and whatsoever be dead! I’m going to rip the soul of the person who invented you! Just kidding… LOL myself.  I flinch when I saw my mom shocked by what I did, but I ignore her and I act normal as usual.

“Jade, are you alright?”  mom asked while picking her dress that I wore yesterday. She went near to me and kneels down in front of me while I’m sitting in my bed with my hands on my face, her grey eyes and long eyelashes traveled my face, she’s worry and seems like carrying a heavy air. I look to her and all of a sudden my tears fell down and I sobbed in my mom’s shoulder while my hands are covering my face.

“Let go of that feelings Jade, she’s not coming back anymore” mom said with her shaking voice.

I know in myself that she is not coming back anymore, like ever. I don’t have the guts of accepting that fact I can’t face again the reality that she is really gone, that I cannot hold her anymore, cannot text her anymore, cannot talk to her anymore, like we’re mocking someone and just enjoying our company like were the only one in the street. We’re inseparable. We both laugh hard to each other’s clumsiness yet we ended up loving each other and do cool stuff together, just the two of us and just a glimpse of an eye… everything has changed.

“I know…” I sob as I pull away from my mom. I brush my hair with both hands and I look towards the ceiling with my tears falling. “And I don’t want to spend my life without her cause she’s the only one who will accept and love me for who I am, I know that you love me mom and I really love you too, but she is different, I can’t compare her to anyone she’s all that I wanted, I don’t know what to do” I cry hard while shaking my head.

Mom stood up and wipes my tears away, she stare at me with full of sadness and… disappointment.  “Jade, I know that Alicia is different and we all know that all of us here in the world are different, maybe you should give a chance to other girls out there whose loving you, caring for you and willing to do anything for you. Alicia is dead darling; it’s been 3 years since she’s gone I think you should move on. Even Alicia will not love to see you grieving and end up wasting your time and your life like this.”

“Mom, this feeling I have” I pointed my heart “This will remain forever, my heart and my soul solely belongs to her! I cannot give any chances to others because I already gave everything to her, and I will never ever replace her to someone… unless she is Alicia, my Alicia.”

“This doesn’t make sense, you fix yourself there and stop that drama don’t mark everything you had just said. You’re too young to say that, I know you’re trying to portray a new you, somebody that is not you. Your trying to forget everything in the past even the real Jade that I know! I gave you my fullest understanding I supported you to your new drama, that you’re straight that you don’t want this you don’t like that, but then again your just letting yourself drown in sorrow! You taught it will help you to move on, but you know what Jade? It worsens everything!” mom said while putting her fist in her head. She throws her dress in me “Go on Jade! Continue that drama, you want to wear that when we go to Mc State? You’re straight right? You even wore this dress with FEELINGS, You’ve got 8 hours to prepare” mom shoves the door and I lay in bed with my hands on my head.