After all this time

Chapter 3: The First Time

At sharp 6 A.m Junmyeon opened his eyes and immediately regret it. He had horrible headache and his body didn't seem like have energy.
He tried his best to get off the bed but he still needed some help for standing. He got the help from the desk, the chair anything in his room to make it to the door. When he opened the door he could hear someone is in the kitchen. He sighed internally.
"Don't just stand there hyung. Take a cold shower. "
Thank God it's kyungsoo.
He just hummed and went into the bathroom. Suho was good at pretending. Like really good. But he can't just take it anymore. He promised he would move on and start a new life Like him. 4 years ago when they moved out of the dorm and got a little freedom, he called Luhan and Tao. He was going to call to Kris when a post in weibo popped up about his dating rumor. Suho was in the industry he knew not all these rumors are true. But for Kris, he wasn't a idol or the leader. He was a high school boy with a long crush on the tall man. He couldn't think straight.
He just decided to call the next day when he was in his right mind. The next day became the next month and then the next year but The right time never came.
He came to the kitchen after his shower to face Kyungsoo's dishes.
He smiled at D.O "You didn't have to come. "
"I wanted to. " D.O gave him his warmest smile.
" You know, don't you?" Suho asked while tasting his soup.
" The fact that you don't wanna see Kris hyung not because you hate him but love him? Yeah sure... I mean you are good at hiding it, it's just I know you well enough. "
Suho smiled bitterly. D.O was the maknae line but his mature side always shocked him.
"You don't need me to tell you they taste amazing, right? "
" Well I appreciate the praise especially from you, hyung. "
Suho chuckled. "you're the best chef in Asia. " and just like that his mood boost up.
After the breakfast, Junmyeon took a medicine for his headache so at least he would go through the day.
" Are you gonna leave with me? " He asked D.O
" Yeah. Have a meeting for the movie. Just give me a minute. "
Suho smiled proudly. They made it so far.

One of the things about military
service that Junmyeon really loved was that there was a routine for every day. A thing that he never had as an idol. He would wake up at 6, go to his post at 8, coming home at 4 p.m and then a normal life till 10.
No paparazzi. No sessangs. No handling stuff. Just a normal life.

He looked at his watch when he arrived at his house. 4:15. like always.
He didn't have a meeting for the night, so he could just sit on the couch for the rest of night and relax which he did. Till his phone started ringing.
It better be not manager hyung. He answered without looking at the number.
" Hello? "
" Junmyeon - ah? "
He stopped breathing. Great now he has illusions. Just how much he misses The man that his heart can't take it. He still doesn't know who is on the phone. This time he asked straightforwardly so his mind wouldn't play games on him.
" Who is this? "
" You don't recognize me anymore? It's Kris. "
What the exact fuck was going on??? Kris?? His mind wasn't playing. The man was Kris. Uncontrollable tears came down his face.
" K... ri .. s? " he stuttered.
" Yeah. Just listen... I know you don't wanna hear my voice but I really was worried and I couldn't ask the guys to check on you anymore... So just a quick question. Are you OK?"
There was a lot going on Suho's mind right now.
I don't wanna hear your voice??? Are you kidding??
Ask members??? He asked them to check on me???
Worried??? Were you worried about me??
He just called to make sure I'm OK?
Suho's mind wondered around the he forgot to answer.
The silence was scaring Kris, if he could be more scared the he already was.
"You're not? "
Get yourself together Kim junmyeon. He likes someone. Hes checking on you for old sakes. Or on the best possibility as a old friend.
" I'm fine Kris. I don't know what you heard and from who. But I'm fine." he tried to keep his voice steady.
" You may be able to cover from others Junmyeon but not me. "
" That was 7 years ago. Things change. "
Being cold to cover up the pain wasn't really Junmyeon option but right now beyond covering his pain he had another goal. Draw a line between him and Kris. A really thick one so he wouldn't accidentally pass it when he's drunk or something.
" You know I had to. "
Kris sounded hurt and he was. Suho was pretending and he could see it. He could see the man that he loves is building a wall between them right in front of him.
"I know so I didn't complain. Just saying stuff.... Anyway I'm OK hyung. You don't have to worry. "
Suho said hyung just for the sake of their little chance to get back together after the contract. He didn't wanna lose the chance of performing 12 members together just because his feelings.
" whatever you say. But just so you know for me nothing has changed. You can still talk to me Myeonie. "
The old nickname broke down the wall that Suho was trying to build.
Tears came down his face. Kris still soften his voice when he wanted the nickname. The one that Kris made and he only used it.
It wasn't a lie that Kris used the nickname on purpose. He just wanted to take his last shot.
Suho just ended the call without saying anything so his voice wouldn't betray him. Who he was lying to? He love that man. Better term. He's in love with him and he never would be able to move on, not even when he knows Kris likes some other person.

" He hung up on me. " Kris sighed to himself before hugging his knees.
Maybe he could change things. But even he could, in the best possiblity they would be brothers.  But A big question. Is it right to be in love with your brother? To wanna kiss him or hold him before sleep? What will happen to them?