Runaway Love

Chapter 4: Starting School

"Is this a joke? Cause it's not funny...at all." How is Cameron a virgin? He's a heartbreaker, isn't he?

"It's not a joke, but you can't tell anyone. It will destroy my reputation." He said, while shaking my shoulders vigorously. I was taken back. He was supposed to have sex with a girl, then never call her again. I wouldn't know much about what a heartbreaker does, but thats what teens used to fantasize about when I was 14. They pictured being madly in love and lots of heartbreak, but what they did not expect was to be abandoned after they were toyed with. Clueless girls with their raging female hormones. I can't say I'm not one of them, sadly, I am.

"But...you said you were a heartbreaker?" I replied with a puzzled look on my face. Except if this was a puzzle, I'm missing a few pieces. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You don't have to have sex to be a heartbreaker. It comes in handy, but I use the old 'fall in love and ditch em' method. Works like a charm."

"I kind of figured that all your sexual remarks led to actually...doing it. Why haven't you?" I didn't like saying the word, it made me feel uncomfortable. I was raised to always be good and stick with the rules. I only got in fights when they were completely necessary. I'm not talking about fist fights, even though against the scrawny girls I've seen so far are beatable. I'm better with words though, I've spent a lot of time coming up with comebacks for certain situations.

"I've wanted to, as you witnessed yesterday, but it just doesn't feel right. Every time I try, I feel like my body is there, except my heart just isn't in it. I just make up rumors that I had sex with some irrelevant girl to keep my friends from getting up in my case. My whole life is fake. I'm not a good person, but there's a lot of pressure riding on me. If I don't live up to heartbreaker expectations, I'll just be a loser. It's hard to be truthful when all I ever do is lie." It surprised me that he was confessing all this. I never thought Cameron was someone who had to lie about who he was. He always seemed so cocky, and self centered, but the person other people are seeing, is not the Cameron I met.

"Then don't try so hard. Why don't you make your first time special? Isn't it something you want to remember?" I knew that was the exact reason why I didn't want to have sex. If I'm gonna actually do it, I want it to be with someone who I love.

"So you believe in all that crap?" He said with a blank look on his face. This sort of offended and confused me at the same time.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, your first time doesn't have to be something to remember. I look at it like something to just get over with. The longer I wait, the more my secret unravels. If anyone finds out I was lying about all the girls I 'slept with', then I'll be such a joke."

"I don't think you'd be a joke. You'd be a gentleman, that's what a lot of girls look for." It was true. I know as a girl, I want a guy who isn't afraid to be himself. I think that's the best quality a guy could ever have.

"So you're saying, girls look for good guys? I'm not good now and I'll never be good."

"Why can't you be good?" He looked away from my eyes and stared at his fingers that were in his lap. Talking about this must make him uncomfortable.

"Because when people see good, they expect good and I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations." Immediately, my face lit up with a smile.

"You watch Vampire Diaries?!" I squealed, while bouncing up and down on the bed.

"Every episode." He smirked.

\*\*\*\

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I groaned and slammed my fist on the alarm clock next to my bed, hoping Cameron doesn't realize I'm not getting ready.