Unsteady - Stucky

7. Alone

These were going to be the longest couple of days of Bucky's overextended life.

Steve had just announced that he had an urgent "Avengers" mission to attend, he would be gone for a couple of days and he would be leaving first thing in the morning. Bucky didn't know what an "Avenger" was, he just assumed it was the superhero part in Steve's life, he honestly didn't care much. 

He was up early the next morning, just to say goodbye to Steve, no matter how much the blonde protested, knowing how little Bucky already slept. 

Bucky dismissed Steve's words, he just wanted his touch to be longing on Bucky's skin more. 

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Steve said, in full seriousness as he stood in the doorway. Bucky smiled and shook his head.

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." He giggled. Steve's eyes lit up.

"You remember." He whispered. Bucky simply smiled and nodded. Steve pulled him into a tight hug and breathed in his scent.

"Seriously, punk. Be safe. I mean it." Bucky said, changing his tone from playfully to completely serious in a matter of seconds.

"I'll be fine. I'll be back before you know it." Steve smiled. "Don't answer the door if someone knocks, stay safe, don't go outside, and try not to bore yourself to death." Steve said, looking at Bucky seriously with his eyebrows raised.

"How am I ever going to survive the nights without my personal dreamcatcher?" Bucky whispered with hints of sadness in his voice. Steve frowned.

"It'll be okay, I will soon be back." He said to try to reassure Bucky. Bucky smiled and nodded, but he wasn't reassured at all. His nightmares could get pretty bad even when Steve was in the house, without him, he didn't know how he's going to calm himself down. Bucky knew he was acting like a complete child, needing Steve to survive.. he shook his head and put on a brave face.

"Go now." He nudged Steve on. "Otherwise the bad guys will win before the fight has started." Bucky smiled. Steve chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He said and turned around. "Goodbye, Bucky." He said and closed the door with one last smile. 

Once Steve closed the door, Buckys smile withdrew from his face. He locked the door quickly and gave it a few extra pulls to check if it was actually locked.

Only now that he was completely alone, he realized how much he hated it.

Back at HYDRA, Bucky didn't have anyone. No one to love him, no one to hold him, no one to care about him. He figured that's why he nowadays loved Steve's hugs, Steve's touches, Steve's skin against his.

The same went for being alone. When he was in cryo, he was all alone. Out on missions, he was alone. Sometimes they would throw him in solitary and leave him there for days, where he would also be alone with nothing but his complicated mind and troubled thoughts. 

That is why he loved being with Steve so much. He was never alone and he could feel like someone actually cared about him, that someone saw him as something more than just an asset, a killing machine, a wild animal. 

Bucky brought himself back from his thoughts and wandered into Steve's room. He figured since he wasn't home, he could get the bed to sleep in. The time was 7:09 AM, so he turned off the lights and went to sleep again. The last thing on his mind was how much the bed smelled like Steve.

Sorry for such a short chapter. It was more of just a filler, just to go into Bucky's thoughts for a little bit. The next chapter will most likely be out tomorrow or maybe even tonight, who knows?

Lots of love, author :))