Better together (BBRAE)

26) reality.

*Raven's POV*

When I made it to the kitchen, I noticed that Starfire was not yet up.

I made a cup of herbal tea and then got a bowl of cereal and milk before sitting down.

I looked at my phone. Still no messages from Beastboy.

I knew he was fine, but part of me was still worried and still paranoid. It made me sick to my stomach and I wasn't able to eat.

My head was spinning and I could barely think straight.

I noticed the newspaper next to me.

I picked it and began to read it.

That's when I saw the headline of the paper:

Teen Titans member "Beastboy" aka Garfield Logan dead after intense fight with supervillain.

I dropped the newspaper on the ground, along with my mug.

The mug shattered into pieces. I sat there frozen in shock.

I heard Starfire run into the room. She must've heard the sound of the mug dropping.

She gasped when she saw me. She rushed over to me.

"Friend Raven! What happened? What troubles you?" She asked.

All I could manage to do was shakily point to the newspaper, which was now laying on the ground.

Starfire gently brushed off the shards of mug pieces that were on the paper.

She picked up the newspaper and looked at the cover. She then continued to scan through the rest of the paper. She didn't seem phased at all.

"This is sad, but I do not understand... you know this man?" She asked, confused.

I took the paper from her hands. I reread the title.

Beloved 89 year old local flower store owner Bernie Smith peacefully passed last night of old age.

"Oh... I'm sorry. My mind has been off recently. I have been seeing things that aren't true," I admitted.

"Are you ok?" She asked me.

"Ya I'll be ok. Whenever I miss too much sleep or feel off my reality can be kinda twisted. It sucks and it's a bit scary," I replied.

"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you?" She asked.

"Bring back Beastboy," I joked.

"I am feeling the same way about Robin. I miss him dearly," Starfire said sadly.

Silence took over for a few moments.

"Do you think that you and Beastboy will ever..."

"Date?" I asked

Star nodded her head.

"I'm not sure. I'm not really good about this love stuff. Who knows."

"I can see in your eyes that you love him. And he loves you," she said with a smile.

"Ya. Maybe," I responded as I smiled back.

Another migraine hit me like a ton of bricks.

Her laugh echoed in my mind again.

"He will never love you. He hates you. Give up. You're just a creepy ugly demon," the demonic voice whispered.

I rubbed my temples, desperate to get the pain of my emotions cleared from my head.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," I told her.

"Ok!" She replied.

I got into the bathroom and stared at my reflection.

This sucks.

The panic and pain grew stronger.

I began to think through what I should do.

I knew it was dumb to even try to meditate during the day, especially one where my demonic side is fully enraged. I tried thinking of something else that could help clear my head before my shower.

Maybe a book?

Then it occurred to me that Starfire would will be waiting for me in the common room.

"Hey Star!" I yelled

"Yes?"

"I'm going to read a book, take my shower, and then meditate for a while. I will be out in about an hour or so. If I'm not out around that time, it's because I'm meditating," I lied.

"Ok! Just let me know if I can be of any assistance," she responded.

"Thanks. Will do."

I walked over to my bookshelf and grabbed a book. I chose a romance book, which I usually don't read.

I guess I'm changing...

I blew away the dust on it, reveling its beautiful purple cover.

After a while passed, my sleep deprivation caught up to me. I was so tired that the words in the book looked like they were swirling and I could no longer read. I wanted so bad to meditate, but I can't meditate in the afternoon, especially with her running wild in my brain.

I put the book down on my bed and then went into the bathroom to take a shower. My head was pounding. When I got to the bathroom, I turned on the water and then reached into the cabinet to get some Tylenol. I swallowed the pills and looked in the mirror.

My eyes were droopy and bloodshot. I remembered when I used to live like this... before Beastboy helped me conquer my emotions.

"I miss him," I whispered.

I put the Tylenol back into the cabinet. When I looked back in the mirror, I saw that stupid and terrifying shadow behind me. It made me jump