Rattlebones (bxbxb)

Rattlebones

"I'm not letting you stay five weeks at my house. You're like a little dictator, it would be hell on Earth."

I sit next to Madam, rain pouring down on the windshield. It's the perfect weather for being extra dramatic today. "Madam, please. You're the only simplistic person left to manipulate. Everyone else has already caught on and abandoned me." Or, actually, I had abandoned them by walking out of the diner.

"Sweetheart," Madam drawls, and then they look over at me with all the sass of a queen without a crown. "You have this weird little god complex going on, which would be hot if you weren't the size of a Polly Pocket. So let me tell you something." They reach over and they grab the front of my shirt, pulling me in close. "The world doesn't revolve around you."

"Really?" I gasp in mock surprise. "I had no idea. My life is a complete lie."

Madam rolls their eyes, but they don't let go of me. Instead, they slowly reach over and they move the fringe covering my forehead, exposing the purple crystal embedded there. "My, my. What do we have here?" They murmur, and their eyes narrow.

I push them away from me and quickly brush my hair back into place. "It's nothing, okay? Can you just take me home now? I changed my mind about staying with you. You're too melodramatic for my taste and our personalities clash." Why I hadn't realized it before was beyond me. It was like sticking Marilyn Manson and Liberace in a room together. We would kill each other by the time the sun was up.

"I'm sorry, but I can't," Madam replies, and then they slide a Hello Kitty knife out from somewhere deep inside their sequined fabric. "I need that crystal, Darcy."

Holy shit. I had literally just crawled into a van with a psychopath. "Are you going to murder me?" I question, and my heart begins to beat quickly. "That's so cliche. Should I scream? Or are you just going to shove it in and wiggle it around?"

"What?" Madam squints. "No. I'm not a murder. I just need my parents to stop toting me around so that they can steal things, and bringing them a million-dollar diamond is perfect. I don't have to kill you to do that. I just have to mutilate your face a little."

I scream and lunge for the door, and suddenly I'm in the fight for my life. Madam is on top of me and their adorable knife is dangerously close to my eyes, threatening to gouge them out. "No!" I howl, and I shove at the pink atrocity as they pin me down to the seat.

"Just hold still!" Madam hisses, and they lower the blade, pressing it into my flesh.

"Get off of me! You dick!"

I shove at Madam's face and they snarl in annoyance, the sharp sting of the knife cutting into me. It hurts like hell and I feel blood immediately begin to slide down the bridge of my nose. But right before I think it's over, and that I'm about to have a knife plunged into my head, something happens. Something that would haunt my dreams for years and most likely force me to undergo therapy.

I feel a burning sensation similar to the one in the closet, and then Madam is suddenly cast in a brilliant light. They scream, and then there's nothing more. I watch in horror as their skin bubbles away to nothing and their eyes turn to ash. And suddenly, there's a gawking skull staring back at me.

I scream like I'm being held hostage in Disney Land and Madam drops their knife, letting loose a wail that pierces my ears like a siren.

"My skin! My beautiful skin!" The skeleton shouts, and they reach up to touch their face.

I throw open the car door and I tumble out into the rain, slipping and sliding in the mud as I run for my fucking life. I'm breathing so hard that I think I'm going to pass out, but then I hear the sound of bones rattling behind me and I turn around.

Madam is running after me, glitter and sequins flying off of their outfit.

We hit the ground and roll, and suddenly they have their hands around my throat. "Change me back!" They snarl. "Change me back you creepy little shit!"

"Wait!" I gasp, and I reach up to grab onto their skeleton wrists. "This is perfect though, isn't it?"

Madam stares down at me.

"I mean, now you don't have to identify as anything," I reply. "You can be whoever you want, Madam. The world is pretty much your oyster." God, if this didn't work...

They let go of me after a moment, and then they slowly stand up. "You're right." They murmur, in total awe at this point. "This is exactly what I wanted."

I stand up, half my body covered in mud. "Really?"

Madam glares at me, or what I assumed glares. "Are you crazy? I don't have any meat! Why, for the love of God, would I want to be a walking Halloween Prop?"

I open my mouth to reply, and then the screech of tires rings out.

"Darcy?" Iggy sticks his head out of the driver's side of his SUV, and relief floods through me at the sight of him and Eugene. "What's going on? Why is there...?" He trails off when he catches sight of the pink-clad skeleton standing there. "OhmyGod, Gene." I hear him whisper to Eugene. "He did it again. He did something else weird and spooky."

Eugene opens the car door and he gets out, coming over to me. "Bro," He says, and then he lifts me by the back of my jacket. "We can't leave you alone for five minutes, can we?"

"It wasn't my fault!" I shout at him. "He attacked me first. And you two left me!"

"Left you? You walked off!"

Madam examines their perfectly manicured nails. "I hate to break up your lover's quarrel, but can I get a ride?" They ask us. "I can't really see the road very well without eyes."

This was it. This was where it all went to shit.

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(Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. <3

I probably should have mentioned this, but Madam's parents use their ghost hunting business to steal. Yes, they're thieves. Lmao

Also, more skeletons yay! XD)