Shooting Star [FINISHED]

Some things you regret for life...

You know what is worse than a breakup? Or being in love with someone who does not love you back? It's when you love someone who loves you back and you made a promise to that person but was not able to fulfill that promise. Regret? Maybe...but love is still there even if you were not able to say it, right?

It was her 49th day. No one knew it was coming, not even her. If only I had come even one minute early, if maybe I was able to push down the ground level right after I got in the elevator....If only I did not do an overtime...If only I take the risk of waking up early or coming to office late the next morning maybe....maybe everything will be different.

Her mum did not know I was her boy friend with space between boy and friend. Her mum did not even know that she and I bonded more than friends but less than lovers. That is why even if I wanted to come to her, I choose not to. First, no one knew who I was really and second, I can not dare myself to let go of her yet. I was not able to sleep the night before that is why the moment I saw the light coming in from my window, I decided to get up and go to work.

"This is for Blake Robles."

The voice echoed throughout the small room of the branch office I was assigned to. It was a package addressed to me even though I was not expecting one. My hands froze when I realized to whom it came from. I straightened my back and went back to work while trying to calm my nerves. I pretend that this is the same as any other day. No one even knows what I am going through right now. I let out a sigh after realizing something. This must be an everyday struggle for her that she became so accustomed to for bearing for it for too long. I held back a choke by drinking the coffee in front of me.

'Later...when everyone's gone...'I silently tell myself as my peripheral vision sees the package.

It was a notebook. A notebook filled with thoughts and a letter addressed to me.

Dear Blake,

I don't know what day I decided to send his to you. I am probably in the province by the time this reached you. I just want to let you know that I am happy you crossed the bridge for me when I got stuck in the middle. Thank you for not lifting me up when I froze while crossing that bridge because what you did was more effective to me. You were able to hold my hand and touch my heart to find the courage inside me to go on.

I am sorry on those times that I seemed so distant. Or those times that I run away from everyone. As I often tell you, that's the only way I know how to cope. I want to live more that's why I keep on doing that even if I can't find the meaning of going on.

But lately, you gave meaning to that thing called life. I am sorry if I have to ask for this favor but please be patient with me especially on those times I can not let be patient with myself.

I hope one day, I can tell you this personally...I love you Blake Robles....no matter how you want to mean it. You've become a very important person in my life now and I am not sure how I can carry on without you.

In case that you want out, in the future, please tell me right away but let me go slowly. So slow that I can finally accept it. Please...