Severing Ties (Book 2. Ties)

4. You Think I'm Attractive

I was sitting inside Max Caffé waiting for Stephanie. I ordered tea with honey and a crepe with Nutella as I waited for her to arrive. A few minutes later, she was rushing through the door almost running into a couple leaving.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. I didn't hear my alarm go off, and I could not leave my house looking like I rolled out of bed. I was only able to do my hair though." She pouted.

I laughed because she looked totally perfect. She was wearing absolutely no makeup and still looked flawless. She had put her hair in a side fishtail braid and wore teal pants paired with an off the shoulder black sweater. If her pants were not a sufficient statement of her personality then maybe the tennis shoes with gold sequins were. She was really pretty in a girl-next-door type of way, but then you added her quirky style and she became all kinds of special and extraordinary. "You look perfectly fine, Stephanie."

"You're lying." She crossed her arms as she plopped down on her seat.

"Why would I lie to you?" I said with a high pitched tone.

"Because you're a sweet southern girl who likes to make people feel good."

I propped my cheek on my hand and said, "well I won't deny that. But, I am being honest. I wouldn't lie to you," I said sincerely.

"All right... I will believe you." She sighed. "Besides, it's not like I can go back home and change or anything."

She ordered her breakfast, and we ate together peacefully. We were so relaxed we did not notice the time; we were going to be late for our chemistry class. So there we were, running across campus to get to class. When we got there, we realized the teacher wasn't even there yet. Most of the seats were filled up, so we had to walk all the way across the room to where two seats in a lab station were available.

"Aren't you in Mr. Joseph's class?" The boy sitting across from Stephanie asked.

"If you're talking about the algebra professor, yes; otherwise, you're making shit up."

The blond guy laughed. "Yeah you are in his class. My name is Lucas. And you are?"

"Busy."

He was taken by surprise with Stephanie's comment, so his head tilted to the side in perplexity. "You're just sitting there doing nothing. How are you busy?" He retorted.

"Why do you want to know my name," Stephanie asked skeptically.

"Because we're going to be lab partners; you, me, and your friend." He finally took off his eyes from Stephanie and looked at me. "Will you tell me your name?" He asked me with a dashing smile.

"Mackenzie," I plainly stated.

"Can you tell me why she dislikes me without even knowing me," Lucas asked.

"Go ahead," Stephanie said arrogantly.

It was a dare from Stephanie's part, but not for me. She was challenging Lucas to find out why she did not like him. "She thinks that any guy who is attractive is way too cocky and believes he is invincible or something," I answered him with what Stephanie had told me the previous night as to why she did not have a boyfriend. She doubted and questioned everything possible, so she felt that she was better off alone; she knew herself but distrusted other people—especially the male population.

"You think I'm attractive," Lucas asked with a smirk as he looked at Stephanie.

Stephanie returned his smirk with a glare of her own then looked away. An older woman with a graying bob haircut walked in the room with books and binders in her hands. "Hello class, I'm Professor Chang. I expect everyone to do well in this class and do the work. If you don't do the work, you will fail, and your mommy and daddy are not going to be able to do anything about a failing grade. So do me a favor and be smart." That lady meant business.

Out of nowhere some smartass said, "your last name is Chang but you don't look Chinese. How does that work?"

The professor threw a glare in his direction. "Not that it's any of your business, young man, but my husband is a descendant of the Taiwanese." I could see her whipping an invisible riding crop so everyone would do her bidding. The woman was scary. She started discussing the syllabus which I zoned out of listening.

"So are you going to tell me your name," Lucas whispered near the end of class time.

"If I tell you, will you stop annoying me," Stephanie whispered back with exasperation tinging her voice.

"Maybe." He smirked.

"It's Stephanie. Now will you shut up and pay attention?" She rolled her eyes.

"Just because there are ten minutes left." He leaned back in his seat smugly.

Listening to them bicker reminded me of Levi. When we first met, he would get under my skin like no other had ever done. For an instant, Lucas physically reminded me of my Levi, but he was not Levi; Lucas's eyes were a light blue versus Levi's eyes that were a dark blue. Lucas had light blond hair and my... Levi had dark blond hair. Lucas was tall and lean while Levi was tall and built like an athlete. No one compared to Levi. No one would ever be able to replace the emptiness I felt after I left Levi. No one would ever measure up to the person Levi was... Is. He loved me sincerely, and he would have done anything for me. The fact that he stayed with me when my mom was on the verge of dying proved his love; during that time I was in another world and did not pay attention to him. If I would have allowed for it, we would have still been together; we would have made a long distance relationship function because he was that type of person. But I didn't have him, and that killed me inside. It was better to have separate lives, or at least I thought so.

Class ended and I felt like I was going to explode. I grabbed my backpack and stood up in a rush. "I'm going to go to the restroom," I informed Stephanie and left before she could respond. I basically ran to the nearest restroom in the building and locked myself in a stall and cried.

"Mackenzie," I heard Stephanie call.

I cleared my throat before answering. "Yeah?" I added unnecessary cheer in my voice.

"What's wrong?" I could see her feet outside of the door.

I laughed falsely. "Nothing. Why would something be wrong?"

"Because you literally ran out of the room like you were suffocating."

I unlocked the door, and she stepped out of the way. When she saw me, she gasped and threw her arms over my shoulders.

"Why are you hugging me?" I laughed with embarrassment.

"Because you are crying." She pulled away.

I tried to smile to ease her worries. "For all you know, I'm probably crying over something stupid."

"Maybe something stupid for other people but not to you. If it made you feel this way in class then it's not stupid; it hurts you."

I smiled at her again and tried to contain my emotions which took a lot of effort. How was it that I had only known this girl for two days and she was already a better friend than all those other girls who had pretended to be friends with me in high school? My circle of friends was literally Mike and only Mike. We had been friends since elementary, and he had been the only one to stay by my side through everything.

I liked Stephanie, but I needed more time to know her before spilling my secrets. "C'mon we have to go to our Art Appreciation class," I told Stephanie.

I hated feeling so fragile. But my life still felt like it was in the air, and I had no control over what happened next.

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[Song: Like I Can by Sam Smith]

If you ever lost someone you really loved, then you know how hard it is for Mackenzie to live like this. And it doesn't have to be a boyfriend or girlfriend necessarily. Loving anybody already makes your feelings dependent on that person, whether it's your mom, grandpa, friend, etc...

Okay enough of the heavy. Have a good weekend, guys! Bye.