Severing Ties (Book 2. Ties)

23. Ashamed

As the weeks passed by, my mom seemed to be asleep all the time when she was not at work. After moving to New York, my mother had been determined to teach me many recipes that her mother and father had taught her. It was safe to say that I had a good hand in the kitchen after two years of lessons, screams, burnt chicken, badly chopped vegetables, etc.

In conclusion, my mom was always so tired after work that I decided to start cooking daily. As soon as I got home, I prepared a meal and did my homework. Most of the time, I was gone before Mom made it home from work. But from the days that we were at home together, I saw the fatigue in her eyes and the way she carried herself. I helped around the house as much as I could, so she could do less. Her mood was lighter, when she had enough energy to be walking around. Otherwise, she was laying down in the couch or in her bed.

Then on a Saturday, after spending the day with Stephanie, Lucas, and Frank, I went home. March had had exceptional weather, so we tried to spend time outside when possible.

But when I actually went through the entrance of my home at 7:03 p.m., I was astounded at the noise that received me. I could hear my mom yelling in her room. Without a second thought, I ran to her bedroom.

"Mom? Mom! Where are you?" I called out into her bedroom. My legs moved me towards her bathroom that had the door ajar. I threw the door open, and saw my mom sobbing at the edge of the white bathtub. I reached her with quick strides and kneeled next to her heaving body. "Mom, what's wrong," I asked with panic.

Her face was still hidden at the crook of her elbow that rested on the bathtub. "This isn't... No, no, no," her screams were muffled by her arm. I could not understand what she was trying to say.

I pulled on her shoulders and forced her to acknowledge me. Her green eyes were rimmed with red and smeared mascara. I took hold of her face between both of my palms and tried to give her some comfort with the soft strokes of my thumbs under her eyes. "Calm down, momma. You're going to be okay." I had no clue why she was upset, but I tried to make her feel more at ease.

I brought her towards me and laid her head on my shoulder as I rubbed her back and rocked her like a baby from side to side. Her sobs slowly turned into hiccups after a few minutes of holding her in my arms. "Are you better," I asked her calmly and quietly.

She nodded her head vehemently and pulled away from my embrace. Her breathing was heavy and audible, tinged with angst. "I have t—to tell you... something," she said between stutters and breathlessness.

When she said that she had to give me news with utter fright in her eyes, I knew that the moment I had been anticipating for four weeks had come. Tamonash told me that there was going to be a situation with my mom, and I was going to be angry, but I should intend for a composed demeanor. So, under Nash's advice from four weeks before, I tried to remain even-tempered. "It's okay, Mom, go ahead. I'm here to listen to you."

She gave me a shaky smile before she collected herself enough and said what needed to be said. Her mouth opened like she was ready to speak, but all I received was endless silence.

I rubbed her arm in encouragement. "C'mon, Mom, tell me."

"I'm pregnant," she said.

Oddly enough, I had the need to laugh, so I did. At first I felt my lips twitching on my face before loud laughter vibrations erupted from the cage of my chest. My laugh sounded like a person who had stayed too many years at an asylum, and then it went into a decrescendo that soon turned to giggles. My mother was staring at me serenely with a frown on her face.

"Oh," I stated simply. My hands and my feet were cold. I rubbed my right temple as I spoke. "Mom, I know you only look thirty... But, you're forty-seven. That isn't possible."