The most beautiful roses have their cruelest thorn

Every Night has its dawn

Mia Madden, Wednesday, February 20th, 2019, 2:00 PM. Location: Drama Class. 23 days until the murder...

"So, I'm gonna talk to Armando, and see what he says about this." He declared.

"Ok...what day?" I asked.

"Um, hold on..." He said to get a copy of my class's schedule. It was printed on pink copy paper. It seems all class schedules from 6-8th grade are neatly organized to perfection. How convenient.

"You have Ms. Coleman on Friday right after lunch. So, that would be the best time. "He announced, looking at me. And, today is what...Wednesday, right? Perfect, nothing to attest to.

"So.. come to me on Monday, and I'll tell you what he said." He added.

"Also, I'm thinking about scheduling a meeting with your parents and his parents to settle this." He declared. Woah... he is actually going to do that.

"I'm gonna call your parents... tonight and see what I can do." He added. He stuttered around the time he was going to call.

"Ok..." I said understanding.

"Ok. You can go back to class, now." He declared after writing what he said down on the back of my class's schedule with a multicolored pen. He seemed to be deeply concentrated on writing down the information.

I left his windowless room. I walked in the dimly lit hallway until I turned my head when I passed the main gates. They were wide open. I guess we were having visitors in school today. I looked outside to freedom, but only for a moment. It was dark and cloudy, although cool wind brushed against my face, cooling down my troubles. I didn't see a soul beyond the gates, though.

I won't feel like I'm one with nature until I graduate. I know I should get over him by then. He's in my life every day, in every class, in front of me when we go to class, behind me in English and Art class. You know, I don't know if this is for my benefit, but whenever we have assigned seats, my teachers always put me in a good view of him. I could see everything, including under the table. Eyewitnesses such as myself are crucial, even though it breaks my heart, and kills me inside every day. I just wanted to leave this place. But, I must have patience, and let the depressed, hazy fog make my memories clear on its own. I noticed the ground was slightly saturated, right before I passed the gates. Wait, why I am even calling it gates like it's the grand gates of heaven? It's a regular burgundy door with a small lobby connected.

Regardless, matching my mood of looking up and ready for this showdown to begin. This was a battle between Armando and me. He has to pay for the consequences of his actions that hurt me deeply. Too deep to the point of suicide. That's right. It's got to me months ago, and I have no help. What a tragedy. Nobody should have to go through this, especially at this age. Although, I'm still here. I'm trying to pick myself up after that horrendous attempt...

I remember that day I attempted to take my own life after I snapped. Once again, watching Armando and Aaliyana touch each other under the table once more. It was the only day my mind went blank for a long time. I can block out thoughts from my head. I was able to conceal the breakdown like It was nothing. It was like I concealed it in a bite-sized hourglass, ready for the final seconds.

Once I got home, the tears came bursting down, and that breakdown was worse than the ones I had every day. But, I felt that hourglass was down to its final sands of my time. I knew how to do it. I hung the thick wire around the nail that was attached to the door in my room. There was a pendant that was also attached to that nail. It stood out as a golden cross artifact, with someone tied to it. I have no idea what it means. But, my parents hung in there since we moved here in 2010. My vision became darker, and all my senses weakened until I passed out. I was subconscious of the moment I became unconscious. But, I had heard a snap, but I didn't think much of it, because my organs felt it had stopped. I woke up. I have no idea how long I was lying on the ground. But, everything was the way it was before I had passed out. My parents weren't home at the time. My mother was in the hospital after suffering immense pain from her disease, and my dad has to work and comes home late. They did not know about my attempt.

A month later, I felt like I had to tell someone what was going on. Though, it didn't even occur to me to tell Mr. Hudson. I kept telling my mother, absentmindedly, about how everything felt bland, music wasn't as euphoric, and everything went downhill. But, I didn't realize hinting something is going on behind the scenes was a big mistake. Just because I couldn't keep my mouth shut, she sent me to therapy. I didn't want to tell someone I didn't know my business. For some reason, I don't trust my therapist. I don't know, maybe it's just me. In my mind, as long as I have pen and paper, I'm unstoppable.

But, I agreed with myself. Let's live, and make ourselves stronger, together. I don't want it to end this way. To end without proper disclosure didn't seem in any form, fair and just to any of us involved. So I picked myself up from my death bed. The death bed in my soul and I'm trying to take lighter steps after being worn and torn for so long. But, let's walk back into reality. I'm ready to be free. But first, let's go back to art class. Art class was always a free period. To stay away from all the overflowing noise, and have some time for myself, I took my sweet gracious time to walk back. I felt icy cold wind rush through my veins. It's cold, though it's about to be spring. I am reminded every night has its dawn.