The Precious Nanny | Cristiano Ronaldo

Chapter 52 - fix everything

This is gonna hurt but I blame myself first
'Cause I ignored the truth
Drunk off that love, my head up
There's no forgetting you

Dangerously - Charlie puth

Cristiano

1am, 2am, to be honest I lost track of time as soon as the clock reached midnight. I couldn't bring myself to stand up, I know, I should suck it up and go comfort Junior, but unfortunately letting him see my deplorable state would only make matters worse, for the both of us.

I fondled my nose on the pillow again, in a failed attempt of soothing this feeling of emptiness inside my chest. Her scent was still infused within the soft material and I just couldn't get enough of it.

Yes, I was still in her bed, and yes I'm well aware I should get the fuck out of this room. But I decided to dwell here since the last thing I needed at the moment was to bump into anyone and get inundated with questions, that I myself would have no answer to.

My mind was only able to attain it was already morning once catching the sun filling the room, making me acknowledge I didn't even remember to close the fucking blinds yesterday. My body ached and I quickly realised I still wore the same thing I had on yesterday. The only difference now was it was all wrinkly and not at all presentable, evidencing my lack of sleep.

I sat up and took in my surroundings, my eyes scanned the room and it didn't take long until everything that happened yesterday toured back to my mind. How my mood drastically changed from happy and excited to everything tumbling down and feeling completely devastated and angry both at myself and her.

I feel every single thing there is to feel right now. I'm furious that she left. I'm deeply upset at how she didn't even bother to tell me about her stupid decision beforehand. But I also feel sorry for everything she has been through, even though I don't know the full story. And now, remembering all the times she smiled because of me, we're able to leave me slightly complacent, though the idea of her also shedding tears because of me, bestowed me with the completely opposite reaction.

But above all, I still feel relieved that I was able to take her mind off things.

As little as it may seem, the fact I was capable of getting off of her at least a grin was enough to make this all worth. But now she's gone. She's fucking gone, and the only thing I have to remember her by is this stupid letter in my hands. I writhe the paper between my fingers and hold back the urge to crumple and destroy it for good.

Just the idea of being a goodbye note enticed me to do everything in my will to destroy it in order to never see it again.

Shoving it in my pocket, I decided to stop with the crap and get up, no point in dwelling over it now.

I try to get rid of the evident exhaustion clutched to my body by splashing some cold water directly in my face. Even if I still looked like shit it sure did help me revive from this helm of sulking.

"Cristiano where the fuck have you been? And why is junior refusing to leave his room? Did you see the papers today?" I was bombarded with questions as soon as I walked through the sliding glass door, entering the living room where I was met with Ricardo.

"She left," I stated quietly, heading towards the kitchen, feeling him follow right behind.

"What do you mean, who left?" I snatched the wrinkled paper out of my pocket and tossed it in his direction. Filling a glass with water from the fridge.