Bonded to her

Chapter 4

I started to come around feeling weak but at least well rested. My body was desperate for some food after being starved for entirely too long. I opened my eyes and to my surprise I wasn't in my bed. Snape was sleeping at the end of the couch, his head on his chest looking quite powerful even asleep.
His rooms were warm reds and old traditional furniture. Nothing like the modern traditional Slytherin house. I would have assumed he would have lots of green at least in his decoration, but it was surprisingly inviting. I carefully detached my legs from him to sneak to his kitchen to grab some food.
I was shaky from the cruciatis curse and my muscles were sore from tensing up so long, but I made it somehow. Looking around I finally found his cereal in the upper most cabinet. There was no way I could grab it with how short I was so I got up on the counter to grab it.
He had a dozen cereals, it was like my paradise. I couldn't decide which one looked better, they all looked delicious.
"What are you doing Granger?" I dropped my cereal box shocked and I turned around fast almost loosing balance. Snap was standing there still in his death eater robes, no mask though thankfully, arms folded and his displeasure evident in his glare.
"Sorry sir...I just...I was hungry." I stuttered my mind betraying me and taking me back to when he was slowly entering me, holding me steady so he could have total control. I blushed looking down at the cereal realizing at least twenty people had seen me at my most vulnerable. It was horrifying embarrassing.
"Granger, get down here. Did you forget you're a witch?" He asked with a sigh grabbing me by the waist without asking and setting me down on the floor like a toy.
"Sorry." I said a bit embarrassed at having forgotten that. I was raised as a muggle so magic generally came to mind during school, not everyday life.
Snape glared at me, his normal loathing coming back full force. Of course it would, we were enemy's. Nothing more of course.
"Make your breakfast then get to class." He said backing up lost in his thoughts before turning to leave. I barely caught him before he got out of the office.
"Your robes." I said taking the death eater robes off him at the silver skull clasp quickly before he left giving himself away. He ran his hand into his hair, the stress showing. I had never seen him frazzled before so seeing his weakness was confusing. He could stand there while I was tortured senseless, but he couldn't be around me? THAT stressed him out.
In a weird way it almost made sense. Cold blooded death eater was his alter ego almost. A façade that he hid behind to protect himself from the terrible crimes he had to commit.
I ate my cereal in peace after he left and went to go change my robes before I had to get to class. When I got in the common room Harry was already waiting with Ron looking very worried.
"That bastard needs to die. You were supposed to be for me." Ron said horrified Snape had taken his property. I glared at him unimpressed by his assessment.
"I was supposed to get to choose. I wasn't yours." I snapped irritated moving to push past him.
"You guys go without me, I'm going to be a while and I don't want you late too."
"Of course you were. Now though...my family is very traditional. I don't think they could accept..." He said unable to actually finish the sentence due to his immaturity assuming we had gone further than we had. I rounded on him fast not in the mood to deal with his crap.
"Well, you know what? If purity means that much to them why don't you marry Malfoy." I said with a smirk at his indignant expression at the very idea.
"Ron, let her be. Not today, okay? You can argue about this another time." Harry said gratefully coming to my defense. Ron thankfully knew what was good for him and let me move past to get ready. I grabbed my things and went to the shower desperate for some hot water and to feel clean again.
The water poured over me cleansing me and washing away his scent just to be replaced by my lavender body wash scent. I needed a sense of normality back. When I was done I stopped in front of the mirror since I was alone looking at myself almost fascinated. He had left bruises on my hips and arm from where he had me roughly. I traced a finger over the sensitive skin and closed my eyes replaying the scenes in my head repeatedly. It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling that replaying the memories brought back.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" I muttered to myself angry I was feeling anything but hatred for him. He was a selfish jerk who had used me for his own good. He could have fought Malfoy Sr. on the idea to go.
Could he though? It was almost as if Malfoy Sr. knew I would be there. I didn't know how, but he didn't seem that surprised to see me. Snape seemed genuinely surprised to see him, but even Voldemort seemed only mildly shocked at my presence. Almost as if he was waiting for me.
I couldn't understand how if Snape hated me, why did he take care in how he went about Voldemort's orders? Looking back he was clearly decisive about doing things his way.
You have to ask for it
His words echoed in my mind making me uncomfortably warm for some insane reason. While my logic said I should have him, my body clearly had other ideas. He had wanted me to enjoy it and had even refused to go further until I told him I was ready. It was bewildering how he had taken every ounce on control from me, but yet had still made sure I knew I could stop him at any point.
He had no obligation to do that. If he was heartless he wouldn't have bothered at all.
I got dressed slowly my thoughts swirling and rushing back and forth trying to make sense of everything. I was late for Charms, but luckily no one seemed to care and I slipped into my desk quietly taking notes.
"You have to eat something Hermione!" Harry urged me putting more food on my plate at lunch. Professor Snape was nowhere to be found at the head table much to my relief. I pushed around the food uninterested in the mixture of steak and vegetables they gave, my appetite nonexistent.
"I'm not hungry." I said with a sigh pushing the plate away and pulling out my transfiguration book.
"Do you think they fired him?" Ron asked pointing to the empty seat at the head table, his mouth full of food like the hyena he was.
"No. He's too important. He brought me back alive and sane, that's all that matters." I said wishing the world wasn't as cold as that, but it was. Not that I wanted him fired obviously.
"You should write to the Prime Minister. Complain. Maybe you can get him sent to Azkaban." Ron mused swallowing an unearthly amount of food at once. I cringed wondering how I used to have a crush on him at all.
"It's not worth it." I mumbled my irritation increasing exponentially. Harry tried to motion for Ron to shut up, but he continued on his Snape tired oblivious to my mounting anger.
"Of course it's worth it! Why won't you fight back Hermione? Did you want it or something?" He asked giving me a disgusted look. The air thickened around me and in a split second Ron was thrust back out of his chair, spilling over in a messy heap on the floor.
"What the hell Hermione!" He yelled, the entire rooms attention on us now. I didn't even realize I could do wandless magic, but I could feel the air around me crackling with charge and I felt a rush that was unlike anything I felt before.
"Oh, I'm sorry, but CLEARLY you wanted it. Right?" I asked him smirking at the dumbfounded look on his face. I slammed my book shut and stomped off not caring if I got points docked or not. He had no idea what I was going through, how confusing this all was. Who was he to mock me asking if I wanted to be put in the position of dying or doing whatever Voldemort wanted?
I went to transfiguration class early and made a point to sit away from my normal seat so Ron wouldn't sit by me. Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow seeing me come in early clearly charged about something and she put away her book.
"Is something the matter Miss. Granger?" She asked in her thick accent, adjusting her spectacles to see me more clearly.
"No." I said opening my own book owing her no explanation for my mood.
"Severus mentioned the events of last night. You don't have to stay for class if you need some time alone." She said kindly after a moment.
"What is today? Hermione has no right day? Who is he to tell you what happened? Bragging about his conquests, was he?" I snapped fighting back tears hating how rude I was being, but just so frustrated with everyone. She looked taken aback and then concerned.
"Conquests? I'm not sure I know what you mean. He just said Voldemort requested he bring you to a meeting to annoy Mr. Potter so you two might be tired. What sort of conquests did he have last night?" She explained gently thoroughly confused by my behavior. I felt dumb. Of course he wouldn't go bragging that he was messing with a student. Even he wasn't that stupid. I took a shallow shaky breath and calmed myself down forcing myself to relax.
"Nevermind. Sorry for the attitude Professor. It's been a long night."
"Quite alright." She mumbled more to herself than me as the students started to trickle in. I counted down the minuets until class was over making sure not to make eye contact with Ron at all. Harry, ever the sweetheart sat by me and drew funny cartoons of Ron flying off his chair and animating them to cheer me up, a tactic that actually worked slightly.
"R.R." Draco said once class dismissed coming over to us once we were the only ones left in the room. It was our code for room of requirement that we made incase there were nosey students lurking around d us.
"Yes please." I said eager to get away from everyone and be able to relax and rant a bit with just them not worrying about anyone else hanging around watching. Draco had blown his cover with Voldemort coming in with Harry, but he still didn't seem apt to tempt fate and have all of Slytherin after him for hanging out with us.
We were almost to the room when Snape came down the hall, his dark mood evident before he even got to us. He didn't acknowledge Harry or Ron, he looked me up and down seeming to take in my stress from the day. He stopped in front of me not letting me pass, the musky scent he had taunting me.
"Can you let us pass Professor?" I said with no small amount of snark annoyed at his existence. I wanted to hate him which was hard when he was around me making it hard to think straight. Him not existing would be wonderful. He raised an eyebrow and I realized too late he was reading my thoughts. Crap.
"Make sure you are back in your dormitory before curfew Granger. I've heard you have been sneaking out lately." Snape said warning me. Only he would take the opportunity to taunt me after last night.
"Of course professor. Wouldn't want people think I was up to no good, wouldn't you?" I sniped back folding my arms across my chest. He ground his teeth at the attitude, but he left quickly not staying to fight like I expected.
We were in the room of requirement quickly after that and I could take a deep breath sitting down on the large bean bag chairs Harry cojoured up for us. He always made the room warm and inviting much like a muggle bedroom, just with more snacks.
"That was interesting. I could feel the heat between you two. Things aren't settled at all clearly." Harry said grabbing an apple and biting into it eagerly.
"I should be angrier. I should hit him or something. I just can't seem to bring myself to actually do it." I admitted hating how weak I was.
"Obviously its Stockholm syndrome, you know when you fall in love with your attacker." Draco said with a smirk biting into one of the fruit from a basket on the center table.
"No." I said with a shrug having considered that but fairly sure that wasn't what it was.
"I'm just saying...that was a bit...hot. The way he looked at you. I swear he would have taken off your clothes if not for us. Your welcome." Harry said with a laugh grabbing a chocolate milk to drink.
"I have known him since I was born and I haven't ever seen him look at someone like that." Draco mused looking at me like perhaps I had the answer.
"You sure you didn't put him under a spell, right? That would be some great revenge though. His worst fear is falling in love." Draco said with no small amount of amusement at the idea of Snape in love.
"Its not love. That's for sure. I'm pretty sure he was plotting my death and that's what the intensity was for." I said softly not entirely convinced that was what it was.
"Anyways what's up with you lovebirds. I'm surprised your dad didn't kill you coming in with Harry." I said ready to get my mind off Snape. Draco laughed and looked Harry up and down wantonly.
"It would be worth it." Harry blushed but smiled a bit trying to hide his embarrassment behind his drink.
"He was going at me, I never saw him that angry before EVER. When I told him I was gay he didn't even flinch, he just said 'obviously' so I hoped he wouldn't flip his shit too much, but DAMN. My mom had to step in to give me time to explain." Draco said shaking his head remembering his dad's blow up.
"Explain? What could you possibly have said that would have helped?" Harry asked surprised.
"Well, Voldemort has access to Dumbledore through Severus. Yet no one is available to spy on you. Here I am serving his goals and not even asking for recognition. How Death Eater esq of me." He said with a smirk giving himself a bow at his own brilliance.
"You realize now he will want you to spy on me...right." Harry said sharing a concerned glance with me.
"No offense...but your boring. Its not like I'm going to tell him you guys are studying spells to defeat him. Not to mention he couldn't stop you even if he tried. He has given up on his whole kill Potter idea and has moved onto way to slowly drive you to insanity I think." Draco said musing the insane man's decisions as if he were a logical being.
"A year without him trying to kill me. Refreshing." Harry said way too happy to accept the rapid change of pace.
"Any idea what he has planned besides annoy Harry? It was weird. When they kidnapped me it was made to look spontaneous, but I think it was actually staged. I feel like the plan went much deeper than just annoy Harry. I just can't figure out what." I said lost as to what Voldemort's next steps could be.
"No idea. Maybe he's just lost what little sanity he has left." Draco said brushing off my worry. Harry frowned worrying just like me of what the end game was.
"Nevermind him. So did I tell you what Longbottom was doing while I was..." I zoned out of the rest of the conversation, my mind taken over by thoughts of what Voldemort's plan could be now. I seemed to be apart of it, but why?
I also mused why Snape wasn't addressing what happened at all. He seemed quite content to ignore it and pretend everything was normal. It wasn't. I didn't know if I wanted to talk about things, but it would be nice if he offered at least.
I would ignore him next time I saw him. I would be strong. I had to forget him. It couldn't be that hard, could it?