A Secret In Your Throat

Chapter 10

I wasn't wrong. I woke up, the clock beside me reading just after 6pm. We had fallen asleep face to face, like we always had. Gerard's room was completely blacked out, the only light from the alarm clock and a large red lava lamp on a corner table. The window in the room, he explained, had been removed, bricked over, covered in drywall, and painted. Not a sliver of sunlight could enter.
I was naked, snugly wrapped in a blanket beside Gerard's naked frame. He wasn't precisely cold, just... cooler, with no heart beating in him. My body ached a little in the sweetest way, his new strength and nearly insatiable endurance had left me deliciously sore all over.
God, I loved it.
I stared at him sleeping, the way I used to in our safe little cabin. The sunlight would never stream through his messy, black hair again. I wouldn't ever be warm against his chest again. He'd never smell that comforting scent of smoke and fire, but it was Gerard. It was truly him. I snuck out of bed, slipped my underwear and t-shirt on, grabbed a protein bar, and crept down to find the kitchen for a glass of water.
Ray was there, his sleeves rolled up, a stack of newspapers beside him, the light of a laptop illuminating his face.
I dithered for a moment, a little self conscious to be in my underwear, then decided fuck it, it's the same as a bathing suit. I entered the kitchen.
"Hey," I said softly, "I'm just getting some water."
He smiled at me, saying nothing about my attire. He stood up, saying softly, "The glasses are on the top shelf. They came with the house, but we don't need them." He reached up and got one for me, so I wouldn't have to use a chair, filled it up with water from the tap and handed it to me.
"Oh. Thanks." I smiled.
He gestured to a chair across from his, "I've always been the early riser," he explained as I sat down, tucking a knee up under my chin, and unwrapped the protein bar, "I'm usually the one doing research."
"Research?" I asked, through a mouthful of chewy chocolate and peanut butter.
"About where to hunt," he explained, "Believe it or not, there are still dangerous people out on the roads. Highway gangs of humans. Your cities are still crime-ridden, even with all the restrictions. The police are very... corrupt. The law enforcement doing the greatest harm don't escape us. We go thirstier this way, but we aren't killing any innocents."
I swallowed and took a gulp of water, "I'd be another mouth to feed," I pointed out.
He blinked at me, "Don't be ridiculous. There's no question of not including you, if you wanted to join us."
"Ray-" I started.
"Rae." He countered. We laughed. "Look there's no point arguing. Don't make your decision because you're unsure whether we can spare the blood. We can. There's plenty of evil in the world. We don't have to stay here, in fact moving on within the year seems the wisest, now we have you, so we aren't found."
"Do YOU want me to come?"
"Of course I do. We truly all want you to stay."
I finished my protein bar silently, while he kept working on his laptop. He looked intensely focused, the light on his face changing rapidly as he flipped through page after page. I ate slowly, the small bar not precisely filling me up, but taking the edge off of my hunger. I drained the cup of water, and then stood up, ready to head back to bed. I stopped on my way by him and put my hand on his shoulder.
"Ray... I really missed you. I'm glad you aren't gone."
He looked up and smiled, "Me too, Rae. On both accounts."
I went back upstairs and snuck back into Gerard's bed, trying not to disturb him. His eyes opened as I climbed back into bed. He smiled wistfully at me, "Is it Tuesday night already? Do you have to leave me?"
I sank into the soft mattress, sighing, "I don't have to, but it's probably... I need to think."
"Still?"
"Of course. Last night being the highlight of my sexual life notwithstanding, I don't know if I'm ready to... be like you."
He leaned over me, smiling, his lips brushing mine in a way that made my eyes roll back a little, and then close expectantly, "I bet I can convince you..." he breathed, and his hands were lifting my shirt, his thumbs hooking at the waistband of my underwear, stroking the skin there, teasing me.
God how did I ever stop wanting him?
This was coercion. I didn't care.