Under My Skin // KYLO REN FANFIC 18+

Combat

It's been four average rotations since I saw Ben. I wish it'd been even half as long since I last saw Hux. He's hanging around me like a foul stench. It's hard to escape him sometimes, especially in training. The only good part about it is he's my training partner so I get permission to pummel him.
"You're tense, Gwen," he grunts, dodging my swing. Tense is an understatement.
Every night all I can think of is the way Ben's skin felt against mine and the warmth of his breath on my neck.
"I just haven't been sleeping well," I lie.
"Do you need an increase on your dosage on your night medications?" Hux pauses, catching his breath and wiping the sweat off of his brow.

I take a step back away to breathe and wipe away my own sweat. My heart suddenly pulsates and catches me so off guard that I almost lose my footing.
"Guinevere," Ben's deep voice echos behind me.
"Supreme Leader, you're back," Hux utters.
"Leave us, we'll train in private," Hux scowls but eventually nods, grabbing his towel and water capsule and leaving the training room, closing the door behind him.

Ben strides over to a bench, peeling off his cape and gloves, revealing his belt with not just his lightsaber, but another lightsaber. A simple looking design, one that resembles the designs of the Jedi.
"You know how to use this, yes?" He inquires, walking over to me and placing the simple lightsaber into my palm. I nod. Ben removes his outer clothing, revealing a black tank that clings to his body. "Show me what you've got then,"

The saber is incredibly light, the weight perfectly distributed, it's much sleeker than my own and fits nicely in my hand.
"Go on, ignite it," Ben takes a step back, grabbing his own saber and igniting it. Mine comes to life with a loud crackle, a pale red reflecting off.

Ben's saber combat is very aggressive, focusing on hard offence. He's powerful beyond words but his downfall is trying to keep up with my smaller frame, which is able to weave in and out of the space around us.
"You're good," he chuckles. We used to train together when we were kids.
"Where've you been? I was waiting for you," he falters slightly, taken aback.
"I was sent out, it was nothing,"
PSSHEW
His lightsaber flies past my head, the heat flushing my cheeks. "So you missed me, huh?"
PSSHEW
He swings his body backward, avoiding my swing.
"Did you miss me?" I say between breaths, my swings becoming sloppy.

Putting our lightsabers on the bench, we both sit on the floor across from each other.
"Gwen, about that night..." he begins, taking a quick swig of water. "I lost control of myself,"
"Isn't that what you sith are all about? Giving in to your emotions?" I ask. He looks at me intensely for a moment, his face perplexed.
"You know... you could be so powerful," his voice is quiet, nearly a whisper. "I can see the rage and the sadness in you, and it's only gotten stronger, I can't help but think I've done something to upset you,"
"You left me for four days with no explanation,"
"No... it's not that, something else is troubling you," he reaches out to me, his fingertips tracing the lines of sweat on my forehead, tucking my ginger hair behind my ear. "Something happened," realisation flashes across his eyes. "Hux did something to you,"