SOC 101 (SUBJECT 2)✓

18

- LOSING HER TOUCH -

Delilah huffed, turning on her side only to pout before sighing as she pulled me closer. I had been awake for about an hour, thinking about everything at the same time. It was just too much. Over eight months, life as I knew it completely changed before my eyes. The things I knew, the things I believed, the things I wanted to see and know everything was just too much for me to handle.

I had left the County hoping to see what sin meant, hoping to watch the act, but I had gotten involved too and now, I was simply going deeper and deeper into the lust-filled world. Delilah had slept on my bed ever since that night, her touches lingered the more time we spent, her kisses got rougher too. My hands lifted to touch my sore lips, which I knew were red for sure. She was intoxicating, and I worried for myself. I worried for my sanity because the retreat was ending already and there was no way we could meet. Our districts were too far.

The room was constantly empty now that the girls stayed in the room with the boys. Last night, Delilah had pulled me in to watch and I had stared with so much curiosity. She said it was fun, she assured me it was. The shock on everyone's faces when Peter had also joined Delilah and I still made me giggle. They looked surprised, then started cheering us on. The marks on my body from their kisses were visible and I knew I'd have to wear something long enough to cover it all up so the Sisters didn't see.

"Stop humming to yourself." She muttered, turning to her side again.

"Sorry," I whispered, getting up and leaving her side.

Getting to be the first person to bathe was thrilling and knowing we had the bathroom to ourselves had my legs buzzing as I stood by the bed. Delilah had tumbled into my life, tumbled into it, and made me the way I was. It had been a week since the night we saw the Sisters and I refused to believe they were the one. After the third time of peeping though, I was finally convinced. How could they be impure and still try to purify us? Has the County always been sinful or was it just us?

My mind still buzzed with questions that I couldn't ask. Delilah didn't have answers either. According to her, she was just following her heart. I knew for sure I wasn't following my heart; I knew there was still something in me that craved the freedom that came with leaving the County. I knew there was something I felt for Delilah; I liked her; I liked how her body molded against mine and how she touched me, but the day she had mentioned her love for me, I couldn't say it back. She mentioned how being in love with someone was; she told me how her emotions had always been all over the place each time she thought about me. I didn't know what to say, and I still don't know what to say to her. I had brushed off the comment like it wasn't a big deal, even though my heart had skipped a bit.

"Hey, wake up." I nudged her body, "Wake up, Dee."

She grumpily sat up, groggily rubbing her eyes as she did, "What time is it?"

"Time to have our baths obviously. Let's go before they wake up."

She ignored my hand as she got up and I knew she was upset, I could see it in the way she squeezed her hands shut and her avoidance.

"Okay." She pulled her dress over her head and walked towards her bed, picking her towel.

I followed after her, my cheeks flaming as I did. Delilah had given me an offer that I thought was too early. She had been cold towards me since then. I thought she was going to come around my morning, but it seemed she was still upset.

We had our baths, our bodies touching briefly as we moved around each other. She hadn't tried to touch me, not once. It infuriated me as she stayed quiet. She was always the one initiating things, and suddenly she's avoiding me just because I said no.