contemporary bindings || spencer reid x reader

[ boundaries and burdens ] (12)

Trigger warning:
Angst, and mentions of drug use.

Y/n's POV:

"Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. 202-"

You hung up.

You had called Spencer twice, both of which he didn't answer. It again felt odd-- but you decided you could try him again a little later.

Spencer always picked up your phone calls and always answered your texts. If he didn't, he would text you that he's busy right now, or that he would call you back later. The lack of communication from him felt off. You were never one to judge though, you understand what it's like to want to be left alone for a moment. So if that was the case for Spencer, you would respect his wishes and oblige.

Am I being clingy? Maybe he's just busy.

~o~

By now, it was two in the afternoon. The team was supposed to be getting off of work in around three hours, so far there hadn't been any new cases.

Time passed rather quickly. For the majority of your day, you thoroughly cleaned your apartment; a habit that you tend to do whenever you're feeling anxious or stressed.

By the time you finished, you noticed the state of your hands. Your knuckles were ghost white from the pressure you used to scrub down every surface. Your fingers were red from the irritation of the brush bristles and every chemical you used.

If anyone were to have walked in on you cleaning, it would've looked like you were covering up the aftermath of a gory murder. Your skin burned and itched, and you cursed yourself for choosing not to wear any gloves.

As you were putting away your supplies, your stomach began to grumble. You checked the time on your phone, and it was around lunchtime. You decided to order chinese take out, choosing to try their chicken fried rice; hoping for the best since you had never eaten at this place before.

While you ate on your couch, you turned on NCIS. You're on the 8th season of the show but you wanted to take a break from new episodes and decided to rewatch the earlier seasons. The episode you were watching was the season one finale, where Kate gets kidnapped by Ari, who you later find out is Ziva's step brother.

There were moments throughout the episode where you had to shut your eyes, from the violent visuals.

It was like you could feel every slap and punch given to Kate by The Hamas men. You could feel everything; the fear, the contact, the anticipation, and the pain.

You knew it was all psychological, but a part of you believed it was your body reliving everything you had experienced before leaving. Therefore, the feeling would be somehow real and you could ignore your denial of the fact that your fiance's violence is still tormenting you; even when he's miles away.

I need to talk to someone.

As the episode finished, you cleaned up your takeout boxes and put the leftovers in the fridge.

You had called Spencer two more times-- but to no avail, he didn't answer once again. You gave up on trying him, and instead opted on calling Penelope.

"Heyyyy Y/n! I was just going to call you!" Her voice ringed through the other end of the call, the pitch spiking a little as if she was hiding something.

"Really? What for?"

"Oh, I don't know... I'm bored? Never mind me though, what can I do for ya, Sugar?" Penelope giggled, as the clicking-- of what you assumed was her keyboard-- filled the background.