I hope our story has a happier ending

a darkness in your eyes

Summer passing is—a blur of cringing, a melancholy kaleidoscope.

(It's moments of waking amidst a haze of sleep, a deluge of hopelessness with spots of color.)

Hermione keeps herself numb, and nothing is great but everything is fine.

(That's what she writes to Draco and Harry, anyway.)

/

When everything threatens to overwhelm her one day, she impulsively goes to the nearby hair salon, asking them to chop it just shy of her shoulders and put in some layers to make it less thick; she has them bleach it nearly Malfoy blonde, because why the hell not, with purple at the ends, and by the time it's done the contrast is shocking to even her own eyes.

It's—different, and a lot, and her family is royally pissed in ways that make her life a bit more difficult for a few days, lead to some really awful dark moments.

(But it was her choice, in her control, taking her own life into her hands, and—she loves it.)

Harry and Ginny both assure her they love it when she sends photos, and she teases a pouty Draco about the fact that he won't be able to see it till term starts.

Harry regularly writes to tell her of the happenings at Tonks Manor—apparently Sirius's ancestral home has been chosen as Order Headquarters, so almost every day he, Sirius, and Remus head over to work on making it presentable, Ted or Andy occasionally joining (and there's a house elf, but he mainly keeps to himself, and Sirius has some negative history with him so he doesn't ask him to do anything, really..)

Draco is—understandably quieter than usual.

He hasn't seen Voldemort yet, thank god, but because his father is so esteemed in Riddle's eyes, the rest of the Death Eaters are frequently in and out of Malfoy Manor after reporting for tasks or providing that which they've been asked to procure.

(Both Harry and Draco have overheard talk of a weapon, of something that would be different this time, but they don't have enough of the pieces to put together exactly what it is.)

And as of yet, they're not recruiting teenagers, but—

(But Father's already made it clear that when the time comes we'll be expected to do our part; I think about it and I can't breathe, Jules.)

( I don't know if I can do it.)

She hears from Ginny frequently; the younger girl and her soul mate are still "taking it slow", but given that they apparently pour out their hearts about their deepest fears Hermione and Harry have a running bet on when the two will give up the pretense. And her mental health is allegedly better, which Hermione would take with a grain of salt except even the twins seem much less worried about their sister, which makes Hermione think maybe Ginny really is on her way to recovery. And she'll be able to play Quidditch in the coming year, which is further cause for joy.

(Threads of hope, despite the sea Hermione is drowning in.)

She responds to all of them briefly, having just enough emotional energy to write about doing some bookkeeping at her parents' dental practice and the books she's looking to read, casually assuring them all she's doing well and just can't wait for school to start back up.

(She doesn't mention that she hasn't been able to focus long enough to finish a book since leaving the castle.)

Harry keeps asking when she'll come to stay; her parents are reluctant for her to be away, loving the "family" image her being around presents to their social circle and clients—her uncle is the beloved city leader, and their hometown has always loved that he's close with his brother and his charming sister-in-law and niece.