Inescapable History, Inescapable Fates

Alex is really bad at being a spy and Pez and Nora are in pain

Shaan 6:21 AM
how are things going with Alex?

Henry looked at the text at 6:32 AM. Alex. The boy's name was Alex. Like the head of British intelligence, Alex Allen. Or the rugby player, Alex King. But then Henry considered Alex's accent. It seemed American, with its hard Rs, mangled pronunciations, and nasally French influence. Sometimes it seemed too American to be American. Alex's accent sounded like he had left his American accent in the sun and it had begun to melt, vowels dripping out of his words. It was soft and lazy and rebellious. Henry had not known an accent could sound like all of those things at once.

So American maybe, like Alexander Hamilton.

Henry 6:38 AM
Fine.

Shaan 6:39 AM
We could put you with Pez if you still want to change rooms.

Pez was Henry's best friend. Alex hated Henry. This should be an easy choice. Henry took to the shower to think it through. When he turned off the water, he could hear Alex talking to someone.

"I can't do this. He's a bland British asshole who showers at fucking seven a.m. He divided our room in half. He asked where I'm from, I think he wants to colonize me but has to make sure I'm not European first-"

"Ireland," The girl he spoke to pointed out. Probably his girlfriend. Who else do you call at 7 am for no reason?

"Ahh, yes." Alex replied, "At least they're equal opportunity genociders. Odds on me surviving this semester?"

His American accent was crisp now. It sounded like CNN and Henry missed the honey warm tones of their passive-aggressive conversation the night before. Henry emerged from the bathroom before the girl could answer.

"I hate you and everything you stand for." Alex told Henry without looking up from his device. He was on facetime with the girl.

"Good to know, anything else?" Henry asked, walking by Alex to leave their dorm. "By the way," he said with his hand on the handle, "I'm switching rooms, so you need not suffer me any longer."

"What! Don't do that!" Alex shouted suddenly. Henry dropped the door handle in startled surprise. "I mean like do whatever you want, I don't care. But you don't have to."

"Because you don't care?"

"Because I don't care."

Henry could see the girl he was face timing. She looked pained. Like she was watching an entire operation fall apart.

"So he is clearly a spy," Pez says as Henry explains why he MUST switch rooms as soon as humanly possible.

"You can't say that just because he's foreign," Henry said, "We have exchange programs,"

"I'm not saying he's a spy because he's foreign. I'm foreign! I am part of an exchange program! He basically said England is at war and British people deserve to die. He hates you but wants to share a room with you. He won't tell you where he is from. He is SO a spy." Pez was standing on his bed now, orating.

Henry leaned back in his chair, well, Pez's chair technically. "We have no proof to give the administration."

"Which is why," Pez annunciated, "you need to spy... on the spy!"

"So I shouldn't change rooms?"

"I would actually die."

Henry laughed at Pez's enthusiasm. "We are going to be late for morning exercises."

The military school was split between physical training and university-level classes. People said it was like going to an ivy league while training for a major sports league while getting drunk off your ass every weekend like a normal twenty-something. Henry wasn't sure Sandhurst quite lived up to THAT reputation, but it certainly was not an easy school. Halfway through his class on international relations, Pez shared a google doc with him.

The Fox-Okonjo investigation into really obvious, kind of terrible, super hot spy Alex Claremont-Diaz