Almond (ONC2021)

Chapter 5 - Back in the Attic

Following this I started day-drinking. The guys joined me, but there was a slightly grimmer tone to them now as we sat again at the kitchen island with beers in hand. My escape from the attic had proven simpler than I had anticipated. Eric was big enough to simply shove my foot back up from below and strong enough that he just about rocketed me off the beam completely. From there it was a quick scurry out the hatch.

"Ok," Paul said. "That didn't go as I thought it would."

Eric shrugged. "I was kind of expecting him to fall through the ceiling."

"That's not what I meant." Paul said. With a casual apprehension he glanced around the room. "Maybe there is something weird going on."

Seeing someone else with that what-if look on their face was exactly what I needed. "Yes! There is. Something weird is definitely afoot."

Eric bounced his gaze back and forth between us. "Like what?"

I paused, not wanting to say out loud what was rattling around in my head. Giving a voice to a what-if could also give it substance that would cling to a person like glue. Nobody could ever say something like "I saw Bigfoot" and expect to live it down. But I was already in over my head here. "A haunting."

"What?" Paul asked incredulously. "No. That's not what I meant at all. You definitely have a bigger pest problem than you thought."

"Not anymore. They're all torn to pieces," I countered.

"True, but that means you now have a more serious predator."

I immediately thought of a miniature version of the alien hunter from the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. The image was more cute than terrifying. "Like what?"

"It was probably a possum. Those things are vicious. Like furry miniature serial killers."

Eric nodded along. "Those things are nasty. They're the white trash of the animal world."

Some kind of carnivore was probably the most logical answer, but I was in a disagreeable mood. "You're trying to tell me that a possum got into the attic and slaughtered all of them? Not a single one got away? Did the possum block the exit? Did it hold them hostage? That's one super possum then."

Paul scowled. "I've been listening to you prattle on about highly intelligent squirrels that have been organizing to harass you for months, but I can't throw in Super Possum? Fine. Maybe it was a rabid raccoon. Is that better?"

It wasn't actually. "Okay. Super Possum it is."

We polished off our day-beers and the guys got up to leave. I didn't really want to be alone in the house, but I couldn't expect them to babysit me in the middle of the afternoon.

As they were walking out Paul turned and said, "Call an exterminator and have him check it out. But you're going to have to clean out those squirrel bodies. I once had a raccoon die in our crawlspace. Stunk up the house for weeks."

With Paul and Eric gone I set to work. As horrified of the situation as I was, I was pragmatic enough to know that I couldn't have multiple decaying animals directly above the bedroom, especially with a hole in the ceiling. As Paul had said, eventually the smell would be noticeable, not to mention what kind of diseases that could be nurtured.

I assembled the rest of my Squirrel Combat Outfit. Although the name was no longer appropriate, it certainly had a better ring than Squirrel Corpse Reclamation Outfit. In addition to the knee and elbow pads I added a pair of thick leather work gloves. A garbage bag for the body parts finished it off.