Falling For Ethan

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Confusion is setting in.
The reality hasn't hit me yet, she won't be here anymore, she won't party anymore she won't be my friend anymore.
Her mom is sobbing in the corner, while dads trying to comfort her.
How does this happen?
Why would this happen to her?
She was...everything, and she loved everyone.
No more her coming over for dinner or even sleeping at Bridget's house won't be the same.
I wonder if Bridget even knows.
Someone needs to tell her, and Jasmine.

I don't want to go to school next week, I don't want to have to sit in science alone. I don't want to attend the assembly acknowledging their deaths, because I want her to be here with me.

She love acting, she wanted to be a famous enough actor, and die a famous death, now what the hell is this?
I don't know what I'm going to do now do I go to bed like everything's normal? because it's not. I don't feel like I'd be able to sleep if I tried. Ethan carries me out to the car, we don't speak to each other the way to his house, it's to hard to form words that are appropriate for this situation. Ethan asks me if I want to sleep in his bed, but id rather be alone right now. I stare out my window because I know I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight, the clouds are almost fully covering the moon, it's a great sight. My phone buzzes, it's Bridget.

"Hello?"

I hear sniffling and Jasmine crying in the background, they know.

"Have you heard?"

"Yes, I was at the hospital when it happened."

"Oh god,"

I don't really hear anything, but I don't speak either, we feel the same way, I just lay in bed listening to a quiet line.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I'm woken by a soft knocking on my door,"Ethan?"

"No honey, it's Diane."

"Oh come in." I remove my head from my tear stained pillow and look up at Ethan's mom.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm doing ok." That's a lie.

"Well if you need to talk I'm here for you."

"Ok thanks for that, I think I'm just going to lay in bead all day though." I didn't mean to sound rude I just didn't feel like talking to any one.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Laces tied I decide jog.

1 mile

2 miles

3 miles

4 miles

5 miles

Stop.

On the street, lays a flier to the Wizard of Oz, the play Karly was supposed to star in, she was going to be the good witch.

I grab the flier, because I have to go, I wasn't much of a fan of the Wizard of Oz, but Karly wanted me to go so bad.

Next Sunday I'd be seeing the Wizard of Oz.

I get back inside the house hop in the shower, and let the water run over my face.

I kind of just sit there until I feel like I should be getting out.

I lay in bed and Ethan comes in and lays next to me. He probably thinks I'm sleeping.

"Hey, are you doing ok?" He asks quietly.

"I'm doing better, I just wish I had more time with her, I miss her so much."

"I'm here for you." he starts petting my hair, and my eyes start to water.

Monday at school
***********************************
"All seniors please report to the main gym."

Here it is, a principles lame way of saying that it will all be ok.

Usually I try to avoid Jay, but he was good friends with Karly, she introduced me to him, and seeing him today it looks like he's been taking it hard.

I go and sit next to Jay, he probably takes it as a shock but I need him now.

The principle gets on the stage and a projector shows Karly and Connors picture side by side.

He talks about a horrible accident and they will be missed. They go into details about Karly's life, and I lose it.

My eyes start to water, and I can't help but think of the memories we had together, and all she'll ever be is a movie playing in my head of our times together.

I put my head on Jay's shoulder, trying to hide my face from others, and he puts his hand on my head in order to comfort me.

"Do you want to go see the counsellors?" he asks.

"Thanks, but I just need to go to the bathroom, and fix my face. I think I'll be fine though."

He gives me a "see you later" look, and walks away while I walk to the bathroom.

I try and fix my mascara, but it just looks like I've been crying. I decide that I should go to the counselor just so I have a place to cry in peace, besides I don't feel like I'd do any good in history any way.

I go in there and Jasmine, and Bridget are both sitting in Mr Freeman's office.

I take a seat next to them and we just talk and cry for the next few classes.