2022 WATTYS SHORTLISTED || After being forced into a marriage by her devoutly religious parents, Aspen's husband is diagnosed with a life-limiting illness, and she must find her purpose as well as fight feelings for her husband's nurse. || Aspen Wat...
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"What makes you think they're having an affair though? I mean—"
"Aspen."
"—surely her turning up doesn't necessarily mean anything. One kiss—"
"Aspen."
"—it could just be innocent. Maybe he's got a long-lost sister, or maybe she's a cousin and they didn't tell me—"
"Aspen!" Nick stops me from pacing the length of the kitchen for the fifth time since his bombshell. "Stop."
"I don't... why would Joel have an affair?"
"The same reason we kind of are?" he suggests. "Or at least I think we are. Whatever we're doing we're having an emotional affair, so for that same reason. The two of you aren't in love with each other. He's admitted it and you've admitted it. With your history together – it might be a betrayal, but you can see how it would happen."
I stare into his eyes; they look like two fireflies, dancing backwards and forwards as they read mine, trying to decipher my reaction.
"But I haven't... I don't get it... Joel isn't the type of person..." I stop speaking; even I don't believe my own words.
"Aspen... I'm not excusing his behaviour, but he doesn't love you; that's why he's done it. From what I overheard... the two of them seemed pretty... like I would expect a husband and wife to act, for lack of better phrasing."
"And you say his mum was there?" I question. He nods. "So, Monica knew all about this? She's the one who was encouraging me to find my happiness, even if it meant cheating on her son. It's because she's known about him cheating on me—" I stop speaking and start pacing the floor again.
He's right – I don't know why I didn't expect this. He's been clear with me that he doesn't love me as he should, he's not in love with me and wants a divorce. Maybe the diagnosis has made him feel more claustrophobic in our marriage, and he wants to be with her. Why would I deny him that?
I can't deny this hurts though – I wonder how long they've been having an affair. It must be a long time because I've not seen her around before. He was telling me before the coma that he didn't love me.
But if Joel was having an affair with Summer before his diagnosis, why did he suggest we try and date properly?
"If you think about it, this is a good thing in a way—" Nick starts. He pauses until I stop pacing and stare into those glowing eyes. I remember reading up about fireflies once – they only glow in the dark to attract mates or prey. I've noticed Nick's eyes glow like this when he has a cheekiness, cockiness to him. The smile that widens after a moment confirms my suspicions.
