2022 WATTYS SHORTLISTED || After being forced into a marriage by her devoutly religious parents, Aspen's husband is diagnosed with a life-limiting illness, and she must find her purpose as well as fight feelings for her husband's nurse. || Aspen Wat...
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O N E W E E K L A T E R
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They say that out of everything bad, you should look for the silver lining, the rainbow at the end of the storm. When Joel and I gave Gabriel up and had to be married, our silver lining was companionship with each other, however strained and awkward it was. When Joel was sick, my silver lining was comfort in Nick. The silver lining to Joel dying is that he's no longer in pain.
The silver lining to Sienna's death is, well, Summer has found her parents again. From the messages that she's sent me since the day after, she seems to have been welcomed with open arms. They decided against a funeral for Sienna, but Summer sent me a picture of the mock-up of the gravestone for her, along with her name: Sienna Joelle Watkins. They're going to have a butterfly etched into the stone.
Nothing good could ever come out of this, but she says it's been good for her relationship with her parents. I suppose when you lose something as irreplaceable as a child, you look for anything to help deal with that. I know I did with Gabriel, but that is not even comparable to the pain she's going through right now.
"Summer just said she's staying with her parents, and I can put the flat up for sale if I want," I mention, showing Nick the message.
Nick sighs beside me in the bed, his breath fanning across my bare shoulder blade. "It's been a week. I wouldn't do anything too hasty," he says. "We have enough money to pay the mortgage ourselves, so for now, leave it. She might change her mind or anything."
"It probably won't sell for a while anyway, so even if I did put it up, she has time," I agree and tap out a message for her not to worry about it and let me know if she changes her mind.
"I mean, if you want, we can move there—"
"No," I shut him up. "Too many... memories."
"I thought so. It was just an idea," he whispers. He kisses my shoulder. "How're you doing?"
Instead of answering straight away, I sigh and close my eyes in the darkness of the room. I want to find the silver lining of this. Though Sienna was not my child, she was a part of Joel.
Hannah was right, because Gabriel is twisted in this strange situation. Sienna was going to be the one part of Joel that I could be free to help and see without it being strange. Her death has opened the flood gates for mourning Joel, even though it's not my child and not my loss.
In a way, though, Summer's loss was also a loss for everyone linked to Joel.
"I'm... I miss Joel," I admit. "I hate saying it because, well, because of what we were, but I can't deny it anymore. Sure, he's in a place where he's not in pain, he doesn't have to suffer, and you know, all of that. But... he didn't deserve what he got. Summer didn't deserve it with Joel and now Sienna and... I actually miss him. We had some crap times, but we did have some good times."
